Mummy has enough money to buy a real estate (a small real estate in Sao Paulo). It is in a bank, applied to generate pension in old age. Due to the Alzheimer, mommy can' t cash out. I became her curator but in a preliminary phase (tutela) for now. It is very likely that it will become definitive.
We have still to present more documents to the brazilian justice.
This week, I went to the bank on Wednesday and presented me as Mommy's curator, but I didn't retrieve a penny. I felt some kind of silly guy... I came back today and asked to retrieve all money from this pension account. Mommy will have to pay 27.5 % of income tax: 15% at the moment and more 12.5% next year. I was told that the bank will analyze my case and return a position around Tuesday.
I intend to transfer Mommy's money in a shared account between me, brother and sister.
It may be used to improve the house in which they live, turning more adapted to them.
Friday, August 31, 2018
Sunday, August 12, 2018
amazement
In Matthew 8:
So why Jesus said:
“Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?”
He said that if the disciples had more faith, they would not be afraid.
But faith in what?
It must be faith in Jesus, in whom He is. I mean that, because it combines with the gospel.
It must not be faith in achieving my will by faith... because it doesn't combine with the gospel and with the Holy Bible.
So the question could be read as:
Why don't you trust in me? I am in the boat and there is nothing to be afraid of.
I am convinced that these kinds of miracles that Jesus performed were pointers, signals to Jesus as the Messiah. I am not seeing these kinds of miracles that defy the law of physics today. (I am almost quoting R C Sproul.)
23 When He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. 24 And suddenly a violent storm arose on the sea, so that the boat was being covered by the waves; but Jesus was sleeping. 25 And the disciples went and woke Him, saying, “Lord, save us, we are going to die!” 26 He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was [at once] a great andwonderful calm [a perfect peacefulness]. 27 The men wondered in amazement, saying, “What kind of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”
My next sermon must be about this text. Matthew is saying "Jesus is the Messiah, the king". He is the king of heaven and he reigns over the creation. He is awesome.
Some preachers will put emphasis on the "little faith" saying that everything can be accomplished by faith, even the supernatural controlling of the nature. Is it really the emphasis of the Matthew book? The gospel is proclaiming Jesus as king, as the savior, the lamb of God; but the gospel is not proclaiming that we may achieve everything by faith in achieving everything. Satan said something similar in the Edem: "rebel and you will become like god".So why Jesus said:
“Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?”
He said that if the disciples had more faith, they would not be afraid.
But faith in what?
It must be faith in Jesus, in whom He is. I mean that, because it combines with the gospel.
It must not be faith in achieving my will by faith... because it doesn't combine with the gospel and with the Holy Bible.
So the question could be read as:
Why don't you trust in me? I am in the boat and there is nothing to be afraid of.
I am convinced that these kinds of miracles that Jesus performed were pointers, signals to Jesus as the Messiah. I am not seeing these kinds of miracles that defy the law of physics today. (I am almost quoting R C Sproul.)
Saturday, July 21, 2018
financial freedom
I've just wachted
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eag7mKYDvU
It reminds me Dennis Prager talking.
Pastor John MacArthur at 53'31'' of the video, mentions financial freedom as positive concept. The idea is to escape the debt bondage.
Let me rethink the pursuit of financial independence. It must be a different concept than financial freedom. In financial independence, the plan is to escape a job living by passive income. Thus, financial independence (passive income enough to cover the living costs) requires much more wealth then financial freedom (no debt). My thoughts about financial independence:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eag7mKYDvU
It reminds me Dennis Prager talking.
Pastor John MacArthur at 53'31'' of the video, mentions financial freedom as positive concept. The idea is to escape the debt bondage.
Let me rethink the pursuit of financial independence. It must be a different concept than financial freedom. In financial independence, the plan is to escape a job living by passive income. Thus, financial independence (passive income enough to cover the living costs) requires much more wealth then financial freedom (no debt). My thoughts about financial independence:
Pros
- A believer may have money. The Bible supports that it is necessary to work. It also supports that the one who works must be paid. Consequently, the Bible supports that a believer receives money (money is not evil). The wise generates wealth what is very necessary to financial independence. In fact, laziness is condemned.
- wealth concentration is not bad because people are different. In the parable of the talents, there is a concentration of wealth. The rich gets richer, the poor, poorer. The world names it as "the principle of Matthew" because it is based on the Matthew gospel. Although the world sees wealth concentration as a sign of greedy, the Bible, in fact, doesn't condemn it. We find the Matthew principle in the Bible (in Matthew and Luke) but I really can't find a verse condemning the rich just for being rich. The greedy person is condemned. It is wise to let the more capable to use more money. It is also foolishness to let the slugger eat without working (as the world advocates and the Bible condemns). So, financial independence must not be condemned just because it concentrates wealth.
- The wise knows how to spend money. He spends less than his income - salary. It is prudent to do so, and foolishness to do otherwise. In general, prudence must lead to wealth.
- The wise plans to invest money and shuns evil. As he doesn't follow the crowd in its foolishness (investing in bitcoin - for instance), he escapes a lot of troubles. The fool wants fast money, the wise doesn't care about it.
- Honest wealth is a blessing because it gives the resources for the rainy days. I think that the Lord blesses me by my job as a professor. Despite this, I am always listening to rumors about problems on my job where I could be fired. It is a relief not to depend only on my salary.
- family support - financial independence enables me to sustain my family easier. Some Christians confuses "live by faith" with "test the Lord" when don't prepare for the rainy days.
- focus - financial independence enables me to separate what is important and what is futile. Even in my job, I could be led to make a lot of foolishness following another professor more important than me, just for the fear of loosing my job.
- opportunities - wealth is like instruction. It opens a world full of opportunities. For instance to travel to a different country. I know I have to be more generous. Wealth may be used for charity - help a brother in need.
Cons
- financial independence as the purpose of living. I live for Jesus and not to have financial independence; but it is very easy to loose focus. Financial independence may be achieved following Jesus, but it is not the goal. In fact, Jesus could ask me to abandon my wealth (I hope not). I confess that I am still focused on it, but I was much more. It requires effort and discipline to understand how money is spent and keep searching for a better allocation. However, it requires effort to follow Jesus too. My wicked heart is very prone to put money in first place as it would be some Provider.
- wasting a life on financial independence. I confess I was spending much more time and effort in achieving financial independence than in following Jesus. I improved, the Lord improved me; but I have to let my Lord works more on my wicked heart. I think that my Lord wants me to be wise on allocating money, but there must be a limit of time spent on this activity. In fact, now I suppose that I will be a better money manager with the Lord.
- lack of contentment. For a non christian, it is very easy never to be satisfied with his wealth. I was like that. Even for a christian, it is very tempting to believe that it is necessary to save more and more and more in a ever accumulating process.
- Jesus said not to accumulate money on earth. The money is not to be closed in some kind of "money generator machine" useful for a egoistical purpose. Perhaps, it would be wise for one person to put a limit to his own wealth. Perhaps, it would be wise to stop earning money and dedicate to a philanthropic cause. Although people are different and we may take wealth concentration as a normal thing, certainly, a believer must not devote his life on accumulating wealth because he has a higher call: to serve the Lord.
- devotion to Mamon = Money as a god. The pursuit of financial independence makes a person to always think on money. I know that because I was like that. I came from a naughty family. The idea of financial independence was practically written in my DNA, but for me, there was some stress, fight with my wife for small money (and she spends big). I don't have to be so naughty; in fact, the Lord wants me to be generous. The Bible (in Timothy) condemns the love of money. It is a great temptation for someone who pursuits financial independence to love money as his redeemer. Jesus asked the rich man to abandon his wealth and follow him in order to have eternal life (at least, when Jesus was replying to his question - Master, what do I have to do to gain eternal life?) but eternal life doesn't come by giving everything to the poor, it comes by the proper faith in Jesus as the Messiah. So, Jesus was in fact telling the rich guy: you are not good, you are greedy and you must surrender to me in order to have eternal life because I am the source of life.
- lack of generosity. It is very easy to believe that financial independence will provide me a good life. When I believe on it, I am very naughty. The Lord wants me to be generous. Generosity is a sign of a Christian. I know I have a lot to improve in this area. I think I am improving... but I am not so sure about that. Let me see: I am not fighting with my wife nowadays about money.
- lack of enjoyment. It is foolishness to work and not enjoy its fruit. In Ec 6: God gives some people great wealth, riches, and honor. They have everything they need and everything they could ever want. But then God does not let them enjoy those things. Some stranger comes and takes everything. This is a very bad and senseless thing. The pursuit of financial independence may restrain some comfort to me, my family and others that is nonsense. This is very clear when I see my parents.
Wednesday, July 18, 2018
Alliance with Jesus
My next sermon will be about Matthew 8:
Jesus calls us to have an alliance with him, a compromise.
Jesus saw the crowd at his right, left and decided to cross the lake. I suppose, He is not interested in superficial relationships.
A teacher of the law made a great declaration when Jesus was taking the boat:
- "I will follow you wherever you go".
I suppose he expected that Jesus took him on the boat with his disciples as he was leaving the crowd.
Some suppose that the scribe was looking for some vibe as the crowd was around Jesus and he would be closer to Jesus, so the crowd would be around him too. Who knows? Perhaps He saw many miracles. Whatever the reason, he was indeed enchanted by Jesus.
However, Jesus replied:
- "The Son of Man has no home".
As he was a scribe, he should know Daniel 7:
13 “In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man,[a] coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence.14 He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all nations and peoples of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed.
So Jesus sounded as:
- "Are you willing to abandon the comfort of your home for the One who is the king over all nations?".
The scribe should sleep in no place previously known. He should follow Jesus in the unknown which would require some faith that Jesus is indeed the Son of Man.
The scribe might be like a teenager that is enchanted by a girl but he is very unstable: she is all to him and suddenly she is nothing to him.
In order to sustain a normal human marriage, there is a lot of adjustments from both sides; there is a lot of dying. A normal marriage leads to some transformation which is painful. A follower of Jesus will always be requested to abandon his way of thinking, his way of seeing the world, and his own wisdom. As the follower is dying to himself, Jesus will be living and modifying his life more and more.
Another disciple (not in the 12) asked him, according to many commentaries,
- "Let me stay with dad as he is old in order to bury him after his death that may happen some years ahead".
In that region, "bury the father" may mean "wait for the father's death and bury him".
I think that this disciple, by opposite, should enter in the boat along others disciples, but he asked to break his journey with Jesus at that point. Jesus told him, according to commentaries:
- "Let the spiritual dead people bury the physical dead people."
as saying that lost people (dead people, people of this world) could handle the burying activity while him, should focus on a more noble mission. Thus, Jesus said:
- "following me is a greater vocation than the obligation to your own family".
Perhaps, as the man would come back to his parents, he would never follow Jesus.
This disciple was being disciplined. He might not be mature enough to leave Jesus and be exposed to his parents thoughts. Imagine that in a marriage, the wife asks for the husband to stay with his old father till he dies. It certainly should destroy the marriage.
Jesus calls me to have a deep relationship with him, an alliance that lasts to the eternity. He calls me to surrender my life to Him, that He will lead me in the unknown, to a new life full of hardships but also full of life. Following Jesus means to put Him in first place, even above the most deer ones.
For me, marriage had a great impact on my life. A solitary person lives for himself while a married person lives for his family. I, as a father, had to do a lot of things I didn't like. I went many times to hospitals due to my daughter but at the end, I am happier. In some way, I had to put my interests bellow my family.
An alliance with Jesus is very similar to a marriage where we find more joy, a more abundant life; but this is accomplished by continually saying: "Jesus, you are the Lord; your will come first."
An addendum:
What is a greater vocation than the obligation to my own family? The local church that works as a club? I suppose not. The Bible stress to honor the parents in the Old and New testaments. Some pastors take care of the crowd in a church and abandons their families. What a tragedy!
However, Jesus is really greater than my parents, my spouse and children. In fact, I have a great obligation to lead them all to Jesus. My family is my main church.
The Cost of Following Jesus
18 When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. 19 Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.”
20 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
21 Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
22 But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”
Jesus calls us to have an alliance with him, a compromise.
Jesus saw the crowd at his right, left and decided to cross the lake. I suppose, He is not interested in superficial relationships.
A teacher of the law made a great declaration when Jesus was taking the boat:
- "I will follow you wherever you go".
I suppose he expected that Jesus took him on the boat with his disciples as he was leaving the crowd.
Some suppose that the scribe was looking for some vibe as the crowd was around Jesus and he would be closer to Jesus, so the crowd would be around him too. Who knows? Perhaps He saw many miracles. Whatever the reason, he was indeed enchanted by Jesus.
However, Jesus replied:
- "The Son of Man has no home".
As he was a scribe, he should know Daniel 7:
13 “In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man,[a] coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence.14 He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all nations and peoples of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed.
So Jesus sounded as:
- "Are you willing to abandon the comfort of your home for the One who is the king over all nations?".
The scribe should sleep in no place previously known. He should follow Jesus in the unknown which would require some faith that Jesus is indeed the Son of Man.
The scribe might be like a teenager that is enchanted by a girl but he is very unstable: she is all to him and suddenly she is nothing to him.
In order to sustain a normal human marriage, there is a lot of adjustments from both sides; there is a lot of dying. A normal marriage leads to some transformation which is painful. A follower of Jesus will always be requested to abandon his way of thinking, his way of seeing the world, and his own wisdom. As the follower is dying to himself, Jesus will be living and modifying his life more and more.
Another disciple (not in the 12) asked him, according to many commentaries,
- "Let me stay with dad as he is old in order to bury him after his death that may happen some years ahead".
In that region, "bury the father" may mean "wait for the father's death and bury him".
I think that this disciple, by opposite, should enter in the boat along others disciples, but he asked to break his journey with Jesus at that point. Jesus told him, according to commentaries:
- "Let the spiritual dead people bury the physical dead people."
as saying that lost people (dead people, people of this world) could handle the burying activity while him, should focus on a more noble mission. Thus, Jesus said:
- "following me is a greater vocation than the obligation to your own family".
Perhaps, as the man would come back to his parents, he would never follow Jesus.
This disciple was being disciplined. He might not be mature enough to leave Jesus and be exposed to his parents thoughts. Imagine that in a marriage, the wife asks for the husband to stay with his old father till he dies. It certainly should destroy the marriage.
Jesus calls me to have a deep relationship with him, an alliance that lasts to the eternity. He calls me to surrender my life to Him, that He will lead me in the unknown, to a new life full of hardships but also full of life. Following Jesus means to put Him in first place, even above the most deer ones.
For me, marriage had a great impact on my life. A solitary person lives for himself while a married person lives for his family. I, as a father, had to do a lot of things I didn't like. I went many times to hospitals due to my daughter but at the end, I am happier. In some way, I had to put my interests bellow my family.
An alliance with Jesus is very similar to a marriage where we find more joy, a more abundant life; but this is accomplished by continually saying: "Jesus, you are the Lord; your will come first."
An addendum:
What is a greater vocation than the obligation to my own family? The local church that works as a club? I suppose not. The Bible stress to honor the parents in the Old and New testaments. Some pastors take care of the crowd in a church and abandons their families. What a tragedy!
However, Jesus is really greater than my parents, my spouse and children. In fact, I have a great obligation to lead them all to Jesus. My family is my main church.
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Sunday, with mommy
Sunday, July 15th, morning with dad;
Sunday, July 15th, afternoon with mommy.
My two sons went to the church. They were in the church from 9:15H AM to 17:00 PM. My brother brought them back and asked to take care of mommy for one or more hours.
I was afraid mommy went to the toilet, despite her diapers, and I had to clean it; but thanks heaven, she didn't go there.
Mommy was not very comfortable at home. I prepared her my oatmeal porridge.
I was very afraid that as she was walking from one side to another, she would fall again.
After sometime, she got tired and slept.
I was looking at her sleeping. Her cranium seems to be smaller in some parts, perhaps due to the Alzheimer.
It is very sad to be old loosing cognition, understanding, clear thoughts, motion and even control of basic things. What does remain after a life?
A life without Jesus is really a wasted life. However, I as Christian may be wasting a lot of my life too when I don't prioritize what is more essential to life, and prioritize my wicked desires to conquer the world to me.
Lord, please take care of me and of my heart.
Sunday, July 15th, afternoon with mommy.
My two sons went to the church. They were in the church from 9:15H AM to 17:00 PM. My brother brought them back and asked to take care of mommy for one or more hours.
I was afraid mommy went to the toilet, despite her diapers, and I had to clean it; but thanks heaven, she didn't go there.
Mommy was not very comfortable at home. I prepared her my oatmeal porridge.
I was very afraid that as she was walking from one side to another, she would fall again.
After sometime, she got tired and slept.
I was looking at her sleeping. Her cranium seems to be smaller in some parts, perhaps due to the Alzheimer.
It is very sad to be old loosing cognition, understanding, clear thoughts, motion and even control of basic things. What does remain after a life?
A life without Jesus is really a wasted life. However, I as Christian may be wasting a lot of my life too when I don't prioritize what is more essential to life, and prioritize my wicked desires to conquer the world to me.
Lord, please take care of me and of my heart.
Dad, again
The doctor asked a cranium tomography to dad to discard the hypothesis of some tumor in dad's head due to the strange music he keeps listening. Although today is Sunday, I had to miss church and go along dad to the hospital. At first, I was wondering about letting dad alone as soon as the exam was over and go to the church.
However, when I met dad, he was very glad, smiling and asked me: "what are you doing after the exam?". I felt he liked to stay with me. I replied: "I was wondering about going to the church, but do you have another idea?". He had, go to a restaurant.
I decided to prioritize family over church. I really think that most members of the church are seeking a club, so now, dad comes first.
He told me more things about his childhood. No one wanted to tell him about his real father and he, as child, was afraid to ask anything in a time where all communication had to start from the seniors. The "grave wooden" was given to him when his grandfather moved to his house to be nursed by his single mother due to cancer.
He developed a theory who his father was based on the name of his sister. For me, it wasn't well grounded.
We had lunch together.
At first, I was convinced that the strange music came from a demon, but now, I think that it is some kind of his thoughts talking to him... His strange music usually talks about he and me. The singers in the strange music seems to see me as a more reliable person but my sister in law, as a not good person. These are his thoughts and he is listening as a strange music.
Today, I didn't explain him it is all in his head. Let it be.
Poor dad, he is at the end of his life (it must be less than 10 years, I suppose) and I think that he needs to escape his closed world. He wants to talk more and more with me; sharing his last moments on earth. Somehow, I must help my dad. He wants more than a son, he wants a friend.
However, when I met dad, he was very glad, smiling and asked me: "what are you doing after the exam?". I felt he liked to stay with me. I replied: "I was wondering about going to the church, but do you have another idea?". He had, go to a restaurant.
I decided to prioritize family over church. I really think that most members of the church are seeking a club, so now, dad comes first.
He told me more things about his childhood. No one wanted to tell him about his real father and he, as child, was afraid to ask anything in a time where all communication had to start from the seniors. The "grave wooden" was given to him when his grandfather moved to his house to be nursed by his single mother due to cancer.
He developed a theory who his father was based on the name of his sister. For me, it wasn't well grounded.
We had lunch together.
At first, I was convinced that the strange music came from a demon, but now, I think that it is some kind of his thoughts talking to him... His strange music usually talks about he and me. The singers in the strange music seems to see me as a more reliable person but my sister in law, as a not good person. These are his thoughts and he is listening as a strange music.
Today, I didn't explain him it is all in his head. Let it be.
Poor dad, he is at the end of his life (it must be less than 10 years, I suppose) and I think that he needs to escape his closed world. He wants to talk more and more with me; sharing his last moments on earth. Somehow, I must help my dad. He wants more than a son, he wants a friend.
Caught by surprise
Yesterday I was at Dad's house and as usual, I read the Bible there. We read Matthew 25:31-46.
It is very interesting that the way I read the Bible has changed very much after I strongly believe that the Spirit is over me, I have a new life in Jesus, I was born again, I will see Jesus after death, Jesus is in me, I am in Jesus, etc.
Matthew 25:31-46 seems, at first, a more Arminian text. Jesus is judging people: some were merciful and others not. The merciful goes to heaven, the unmerciful to hell. So basically, people are judged by his way of living.
As I was reading, verse 34 caught my attention:
34 Then the King will say to those at His right hand, Come, you blessed of My Father [you [g]favored of God and appointed to eternal salvation], inherit (receive as your own) the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
So, it is well written that the kingdom was prepared for the elect since the Big Bang. Is this an Arminian text?
But I considered another very interesting point. Both sides seemed to be caught by surprise. Let us see.
37 Then the just and upright will answer Him, Lord, when did we see You hungry and gave You food, or thirsty and gave You something to drink?
They didn't notice Jesus when they were being merciful. Why?
A merciful person, guided by the Spirit, is not seeking a return from the Lord because He is really confident that the Lord is with him, that he has the blessing, the joy, the peace from the Lord. He is a light person. So they were caught by surprise when Jesus told them that their mercy was towards Him.
The other group was also taken by surprise:
44 Then they also [in their turn] will answer, Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?
A religious person that is not guided by the Spirit expects some return from the Lord. Even their good acts are not pleasing to the Lord. They might have contributed to their local church or any other entity that clearly was pro-Jesus. In the last day, they will think something as: "I did so much for Jesus, I worked so much to Him and He is not paying me back, what a deception!"
What can I understand from this text?
A genuine faith which leads to God's communion, leads also to a new life that loves others, that has compassion to the poor and oppressed. Let my faith be genuine! Certainly, Jesus has been changing my life. I see it, others see it. So, the question is not: "Am I merciful to enter into the kingdom?". A proper question is: "How to be more merciful in order to please my Redeemer?"
Let me confess my lack of mercy. I still can't change diapers of mommy.
It is very interesting that the way I read the Bible has changed very much after I strongly believe that the Spirit is over me, I have a new life in Jesus, I was born again, I will see Jesus after death, Jesus is in me, I am in Jesus, etc.
Matthew 25:31-46 seems, at first, a more Arminian text. Jesus is judging people: some were merciful and others not. The merciful goes to heaven, the unmerciful to hell. So basically, people are judged by his way of living.
As I was reading, verse 34 caught my attention:
34 Then the King will say to those at His right hand, Come, you blessed of My Father [you [g]favored of God and appointed to eternal salvation], inherit (receive as your own) the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
So, it is well written that the kingdom was prepared for the elect since the Big Bang. Is this an Arminian text?
But I considered another very interesting point. Both sides seemed to be caught by surprise. Let us see.
37 Then the just and upright will answer Him, Lord, when did we see You hungry and gave You food, or thirsty and gave You something to drink?
They didn't notice Jesus when they were being merciful. Why?
A merciful person, guided by the Spirit, is not seeking a return from the Lord because He is really confident that the Lord is with him, that he has the blessing, the joy, the peace from the Lord. He is a light person. So they were caught by surprise when Jesus told them that their mercy was towards Him.
The other group was also taken by surprise:
44 Then they also [in their turn] will answer, Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?
A religious person that is not guided by the Spirit expects some return from the Lord. Even their good acts are not pleasing to the Lord. They might have contributed to their local church or any other entity that clearly was pro-Jesus. In the last day, they will think something as: "I did so much for Jesus, I worked so much to Him and He is not paying me back, what a deception!"
What can I understand from this text?
A genuine faith which leads to God's communion, leads also to a new life that loves others, that has compassion to the poor and oppressed. Let my faith be genuine! Certainly, Jesus has been changing my life. I see it, others see it. So, the question is not: "Am I merciful to enter into the kingdom?". A proper question is: "How to be more merciful in order to please my Redeemer?"
Let me confess my lack of mercy. I still can't change diapers of mommy.
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Mixed race
My dad's father was gaijin and dad's mother was japanese. He looks more western than japanese.
As other nikkeis, dad was proud to be japanese and he had never told me his western side since childhood.
When I was around 12 years old, I was always asking mommy: "I can't believe dad is japanese because he doesn't look so". Mommy replied: "You are right. He is mixed race. His real dad was a gaijin but don't tell dad that you already know it because he doesn't like to talk about that". I obeyed her. Besides, I saw dad lying about his identity to other people claiming he was a pure race, with a pure japanese blood. Perhaps, he was hiding his identity to me and I let it go.
My surname is japanese but it had to be a normal brazilian surname. My grand mother married again to a nikkei who registered dad as his son. At that time, it was common to register a child after many years its birth; so dad was not even registered when grand mother married again.
Today something different happened.
Dad called me and began to talk in a low voice. He doesn't trust my sister in law. He showed me some kind of gravestone but it would be better to say a grave wooden with some kanjis (chinese characters) in one side and a woman name with her birth and death dates. Her birth date was in 1938 and her death in 1939. The kanjis are used in Buddhist ceremonies. This baby was in fact my dad's sister from his father. She had the brazilian surname I should have. Finally, dad told me something about his childhood. Why so much secret for so long time?
I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Contrary to dad, I really want that my children understand my soul, my thoughts so that they don't misjudge me.
Coming back home, I told my older son what happened and I asked him: would you like to have a brazilian surname? His face is really japanese (his blood is around 90% japanese). He told me it would be really strange for him to have a brazilian surname. At dinner, my son asked me: How did your dad get this grave-wooden? Good question. I am so used not to ask questions about my father childhood that I didn't ask anything. Dad told me today that his grand father gave it to him; but then, I began to ask: he was just 3 years old when his sister died; so how come his grand father gave it to him? Was it really some kind of grave wooden? No, dad told me something about it. It was not to stay in the grave (wooden is a fragile material). I understood it was some kind of memorial to stay inside home.
I asked my son: why my dad did decide to tell me this today? and I tried to answer it:
- because he is really alone and facing death. Mommy is with Alzheimer and he is continually listening to that strange music that reminds him about his own mortality. He wanted very much to discover what was written in kanji and he was trying to find a way to decipher it. I really don't know what made him tell me this. Was his quest in discovering some hidden secret in the kanjis or was his strange way to tell me what my surname should be?
My own origin seems a lot of random events outside of anyone's control. My real gaijin grand father has never known me but his DNA is in me. I believe that the Lord elected me to be his own before the big bang; so He was in control of my origin. He has been writing my own story much before I was even born.
As other nikkeis, dad was proud to be japanese and he had never told me his western side since childhood.
When I was around 12 years old, I was always asking mommy: "I can't believe dad is japanese because he doesn't look so". Mommy replied: "You are right. He is mixed race. His real dad was a gaijin but don't tell dad that you already know it because he doesn't like to talk about that". I obeyed her. Besides, I saw dad lying about his identity to other people claiming he was a pure race, with a pure japanese blood. Perhaps, he was hiding his identity to me and I let it go.
My surname is japanese but it had to be a normal brazilian surname. My grand mother married again to a nikkei who registered dad as his son. At that time, it was common to register a child after many years its birth; so dad was not even registered when grand mother married again.
Today something different happened.
Dad called me and began to talk in a low voice. He doesn't trust my sister in law. He showed me some kind of gravestone but it would be better to say a grave wooden with some kanjis (chinese characters) in one side and a woman name with her birth and death dates. Her birth date was in 1938 and her death in 1939. The kanjis are used in Buddhist ceremonies. This baby was in fact my dad's sister from his father. She had the brazilian surname I should have. Finally, dad told me something about his childhood. Why so much secret for so long time?
I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Contrary to dad, I really want that my children understand my soul, my thoughts so that they don't misjudge me.
Coming back home, I told my older son what happened and I asked him: would you like to have a brazilian surname? His face is really japanese (his blood is around 90% japanese). He told me it would be really strange for him to have a brazilian surname. At dinner, my son asked me: How did your dad get this grave-wooden? Good question. I am so used not to ask questions about my father childhood that I didn't ask anything. Dad told me today that his grand father gave it to him; but then, I began to ask: he was just 3 years old when his sister died; so how come his grand father gave it to him? Was it really some kind of grave wooden? No, dad told me something about it. It was not to stay in the grave (wooden is a fragile material). I understood it was some kind of memorial to stay inside home.
I asked my son: why my dad did decide to tell me this today? and I tried to answer it:
- because he is really alone and facing death. Mommy is with Alzheimer and he is continually listening to that strange music that reminds him about his own mortality. He wanted very much to discover what was written in kanji and he was trying to find a way to decipher it. I really don't know what made him tell me this. Was his quest in discovering some hidden secret in the kanjis or was his strange way to tell me what my surname should be?
My own origin seems a lot of random events outside of anyone's control. My real gaijin grand father has never known me but his DNA is in me. I believe that the Lord elected me to be his own before the big bang; so He was in control of my origin. He has been writing my own story much before I was even born.
Monday, July 9, 2018
My reformed friend Dan
I couldn't believe in "salvation assurance".
As an engineer, it seems to me that the "doubt" moved manhood ahead while "assurance" stagnated. I was an Arminian, believing in free will - a will that is alien to the Lord's will. I believed that the Lord, in his kindness, was very respectful to men's free will. And despite that, the Lord demanded obedience to his Word as a sign of perseverance. How can a man believe in salvation assurance with such beliefs? Totally impossible. For me, the Lord was cruel; demanding a lot of things that I would never accomplish.
After a lot of deception with the preaching of a pastor, I moved to another church and met Dan.
At first, Dan seemed to be very stable, happy, intelligent and above all, he was the best Bible "scholar" I had ever met. I say "scholar", in quotes. because he was not really a scholar, but he was almost one as he was attending a seminary and knew many and many thinkers. He liked Augustine and he was reading many of his books. He seemed eager to extract the proper meaning whenever the Bible was read from Hebrew or Greek. It was a great pleasure to get knowledge from Dan.
At that time, the pastor in this new nikkei church designated me to preach at the fifth of some Month (around 4 sermons in a year). In retrospect, I can't believe that the pastor called someone with lack of salvation assurance to preach. However, I remember I was always trying to be very faithful to the Word in my sermons (and the Word is also arminian in my opinion).
Dan made me study one discipline in a seminary: Methods to Bible Study. He used his car and "carried" me to the first class that was far away from Sao Paulo. Meanwhile, I was bombarding him about salvation assurance questions because it was a great lie to me. I couldn't read anywhere in the Bible that the saints have eternal life assurance. As the Lord had to respect men's free will, how someone would have eternal life assurance? He asked me: "Why do you believe in free will? There is no free will.". He also gave me the book "The God Sovereignty" from A Pynk which opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. In fact, in the absence of free will, finally, I could have salvation assurance.
I didn't reflect so much on the question: "Am I an elect?" because, I had to be, or I had to have faith. The other option was so terrible that I couldn't even think about it. In fact, I remember, it was like a great relief to believe on it: a heavy burden was taken off my shoulders. Finally, I could breath with the Sovereign Lord who would lead me to the eternal life, next to Him. What a glory! What a joy! What a new life in Jesus! I could claim and proclaim victory in Jesus. And certainly I had a change of mind. I began to preach in a very different way, to see my spouse and children differently. I began to see a beautiful world, full of God's compassion specially to me, a sinner but much more than a sinner, a believer.
Dan was an instrument of the Lord, he was used so that I had my eyes opened. Finally: "I was blind, but now I see". Thus, I was very grateful to Dan.
However, the Lord writes a story full of ironies.
Dan began to press me very much to be a much better Sunday School teacher. He was always showing me a lot of references that I had to read before class. I was always saying to him: "Why don't you take care of the class? You are much more qualified than me."
I began to suspect that Dan was in fact some kind of irresponsible guy that liked to coordinate others, as a hidden boss. He told me I could ask anything to him in order to prepare Sunday School classes. So I began to ask him a lot of questions about the Philippians by email. I noticed he was not very eager to discuss or answer the questions. How come? What was happening to my reformed friend? It was not logical...
Finally, one day, he sent me an email where he was very angry with me. What?! I couldn't understand the motives; but it hurted me profoundly. I had lost my friend, some kind of light in a dark world.
He was also preaching in our little church, but after a few sermons (perhaps 2 months), he gave up preaching. He even abandoned our church.
What a deception!
Perhaps, due to our friendship, Dan decided to reconcile with me, but his words were not very convincing. I couldn't feel remorse. Anyway, he confessed me he had to leave the pulpit due to sin. I couldn't see any Lord's devotion or any Lord's guidance or even any life of prayer in him. So sad. At least, he seemed coherent to leave the pulpit. I really hate false pastors, false teachers, hypocrites in the church.
I met Dan many times after that, but it seemed that his light, his devotion and faith had been lost. I even traveled with him for a month (me, my wife, he and a friend). I couldn't talk to him about Jesus. He was almost like any other mundane guy. I began to see him as a great impostor and even worse, as psychopath. Perhaps, all human being has a psychopath side, but he is really closer, I guess. He can talk very friendly and openly. But even so, his heart is hidden I daresay, even to himself. He may move in darkness. After travelling with him, I was amazed. He was not only very intelligent, but he was also very charismatic. I saw how easily he made contact with anyone, and how easily he could be "loved" (adored?). So, it was like I had met an angel which turned into a demon because his inner soul was always hidden from anyone. He could very easily manipulate anyone in his own favor. It seemed to me that he had some dark power... that he was a psychopath.
And I met Dan other times too.
I could see that he couldn't control his emotions very well. I think that despite everything, I got some trust in Dan'eyes. I saw myself as a kind of privileged guy that could see Dan's dark side. Despite his jokes against me, at the bottom of his heart, he must had taken me seriously when I talk about Jesus, the Bible, the Truth.
I met him yesterday.
I talked a lot with him and it was a great pleasure to me.
It was some kind of reconciliation after a lot of discussions.
Perhaps I changed my mind again about him. Is he really the psycho I previously thought? Perhaps, there still hope to Dan, some search to the Lord in his wicked heart (arminian) or some calling from the Lord (calvinist).
The big irony is that the Lord exalts a humble man even though he can't read Hebrew or Greek, even though, I daresay, he is reformed or not. The big irony is that people that are much closer to heaven's kingdom will be left behind by others with lower intelligence and seminary preparation because the Lord pours his Spirit in whom he wishes. The Lord is really sovereign and reigns. He may use whoever he wishes in his work. Let Him use me. Let Him use Dan, too. I hope Dan turns his eyes to Jesus and receives a clear mind.
As an engineer, it seems to me that the "doubt" moved manhood ahead while "assurance" stagnated. I was an Arminian, believing in free will - a will that is alien to the Lord's will. I believed that the Lord, in his kindness, was very respectful to men's free will. And despite that, the Lord demanded obedience to his Word as a sign of perseverance. How can a man believe in salvation assurance with such beliefs? Totally impossible. For me, the Lord was cruel; demanding a lot of things that I would never accomplish.
After a lot of deception with the preaching of a pastor, I moved to another church and met Dan.
At first, Dan seemed to be very stable, happy, intelligent and above all, he was the best Bible "scholar" I had ever met. I say "scholar", in quotes. because he was not really a scholar, but he was almost one as he was attending a seminary and knew many and many thinkers. He liked Augustine and he was reading many of his books. He seemed eager to extract the proper meaning whenever the Bible was read from Hebrew or Greek. It was a great pleasure to get knowledge from Dan.
At that time, the pastor in this new nikkei church designated me to preach at the fifth of some Month (around 4 sermons in a year). In retrospect, I can't believe that the pastor called someone with lack of salvation assurance to preach. However, I remember I was always trying to be very faithful to the Word in my sermons (and the Word is also arminian in my opinion).
Dan made me study one discipline in a seminary: Methods to Bible Study. He used his car and "carried" me to the first class that was far away from Sao Paulo. Meanwhile, I was bombarding him about salvation assurance questions because it was a great lie to me. I couldn't read anywhere in the Bible that the saints have eternal life assurance. As the Lord had to respect men's free will, how someone would have eternal life assurance? He asked me: "Why do you believe in free will? There is no free will.". He also gave me the book "The God Sovereignty" from A Pynk which opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. In fact, in the absence of free will, finally, I could have salvation assurance.
I didn't reflect so much on the question: "Am I an elect?" because, I had to be, or I had to have faith. The other option was so terrible that I couldn't even think about it. In fact, I remember, it was like a great relief to believe on it: a heavy burden was taken off my shoulders. Finally, I could breath with the Sovereign Lord who would lead me to the eternal life, next to Him. What a glory! What a joy! What a new life in Jesus! I could claim and proclaim victory in Jesus. And certainly I had a change of mind. I began to preach in a very different way, to see my spouse and children differently. I began to see a beautiful world, full of God's compassion specially to me, a sinner but much more than a sinner, a believer.
Dan was an instrument of the Lord, he was used so that I had my eyes opened. Finally: "I was blind, but now I see". Thus, I was very grateful to Dan.
However, the Lord writes a story full of ironies.
Dan began to press me very much to be a much better Sunday School teacher. He was always showing me a lot of references that I had to read before class. I was always saying to him: "Why don't you take care of the class? You are much more qualified than me."
I began to suspect that Dan was in fact some kind of irresponsible guy that liked to coordinate others, as a hidden boss. He told me I could ask anything to him in order to prepare Sunday School classes. So I began to ask him a lot of questions about the Philippians by email. I noticed he was not very eager to discuss or answer the questions. How come? What was happening to my reformed friend? It was not logical...
Finally, one day, he sent me an email where he was very angry with me. What?! I couldn't understand the motives; but it hurted me profoundly. I had lost my friend, some kind of light in a dark world.
He was also preaching in our little church, but after a few sermons (perhaps 2 months), he gave up preaching. He even abandoned our church.
What a deception!
Perhaps, due to our friendship, Dan decided to reconcile with me, but his words were not very convincing. I couldn't feel remorse. Anyway, he confessed me he had to leave the pulpit due to sin. I couldn't see any Lord's devotion or any Lord's guidance or even any life of prayer in him. So sad. At least, he seemed coherent to leave the pulpit. I really hate false pastors, false teachers, hypocrites in the church.
I met Dan many times after that, but it seemed that his light, his devotion and faith had been lost. I even traveled with him for a month (me, my wife, he and a friend). I couldn't talk to him about Jesus. He was almost like any other mundane guy. I began to see him as a great impostor and even worse, as psychopath. Perhaps, all human being has a psychopath side, but he is really closer, I guess. He can talk very friendly and openly. But even so, his heart is hidden I daresay, even to himself. He may move in darkness. After travelling with him, I was amazed. He was not only very intelligent, but he was also very charismatic. I saw how easily he made contact with anyone, and how easily he could be "loved" (adored?). So, it was like I had met an angel which turned into a demon because his inner soul was always hidden from anyone. He could very easily manipulate anyone in his own favor. It seemed to me that he had some dark power... that he was a psychopath.
And I met Dan other times too.
I could see that he couldn't control his emotions very well. I think that despite everything, I got some trust in Dan'eyes. I saw myself as a kind of privileged guy that could see Dan's dark side. Despite his jokes against me, at the bottom of his heart, he must had taken me seriously when I talk about Jesus, the Bible, the Truth.
I met him yesterday.
I talked a lot with him and it was a great pleasure to me.
It was some kind of reconciliation after a lot of discussions.
Perhaps I changed my mind again about him. Is he really the psycho I previously thought? Perhaps, there still hope to Dan, some search to the Lord in his wicked heart (arminian) or some calling from the Lord (calvinist).
The big irony is that the Lord exalts a humble man even though he can't read Hebrew or Greek, even though, I daresay, he is reformed or not. The big irony is that people that are much closer to heaven's kingdom will be left behind by others with lower intelligence and seminary preparation because the Lord pours his Spirit in whom he wishes. The Lord is really sovereign and reigns. He may use whoever he wishes in his work. Let Him use me. Let Him use Dan, too. I hope Dan turns his eyes to Jesus and receives a clear mind.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
The parable of the older son
My sunday school class was asked to prepare something to dad's day on August. I really hate the time wasted on this human made commemorative days but my church leaders seem to think the opposite. Anyway, I decided to tell the parable of the prodigal son focusing the older son.
A lot of people in church behaves as the older son. I was no different. I will try to make them understand the Lord's love through this parable mixed with my testimony.
The attendants at church don't seem to have a new life full of joy and peace from the Lord.
I suppose they are like I was. I seemed to carry a heavy burden imposed by a cruel God. A god that requires a lot of things that I was not designed to do, a god that is never pleased and demands the impossible. A god that is always ready to put anyone in hell.
In the parable, the older son was always trying to please his demanding father in order to get some favor from him, but he couldn't notice any affection from him. However, his father showed a lot of affection to the irresponsible prodigal son. How could this happen? Totally unfair.
I, as an older son, couldn't understand beautiful testimonies about a great sinner who had a new life in Jesus. How couldn't I notice the Lord's love? I should as I was always trying to obey the Lord since my childhood. Should I waste my money with prostitutes and repent in order to have a grasp of the Lord's love? Is God really good? He demands a lot of things from me but He seems to be much more satisfied with other greater sinners than me... totally illogical.
However, one day I got it:
- my Heavenly Father went to talk directly to me and called me son. He said: "you must be on the party of the Lamb's wedding. You are going to the party because I want so. Rejoice in me and stop trusting in your good works.". His command is getting clear and clear. The Lord has been changing my heart and certainly, the Lamb's wedding party has already began to me.
A lot of people in church behaves as the older son. I was no different. I will try to make them understand the Lord's love through this parable mixed with my testimony.
The attendants at church don't seem to have a new life full of joy and peace from the Lord.
I suppose they are like I was. I seemed to carry a heavy burden imposed by a cruel God. A god that requires a lot of things that I was not designed to do, a god that is never pleased and demands the impossible. A god that is always ready to put anyone in hell.
In the parable, the older son was always trying to please his demanding father in order to get some favor from him, but he couldn't notice any affection from him. However, his father showed a lot of affection to the irresponsible prodigal son. How could this happen? Totally unfair.
I, as an older son, couldn't understand beautiful testimonies about a great sinner who had a new life in Jesus. How couldn't I notice the Lord's love? I should as I was always trying to obey the Lord since my childhood. Should I waste my money with prostitutes and repent in order to have a grasp of the Lord's love? Is God really good? He demands a lot of things from me but He seems to be much more satisfied with other greater sinners than me... totally illogical.
However, one day I got it:
- my Heavenly Father went to talk directly to me and called me son. He said: "you must be on the party of the Lamb's wedding. You are going to the party because I want so. Rejoice in me and stop trusting in your good works.". His command is getting clear and clear. The Lord has been changing my heart and certainly, the Lamb's wedding party has already began to me.
Friday, July 6, 2018
parents
My parents are old, dad 81, mommy 84.
Dad had a hard childhood. His mother separated from her husband, she married again and this new husband mistreated dad, and then his mother separated again. Worse than that. Her first husband was a gaijin (a non japanese, a non nikkei jin), but dad was raised in a nikkei community so he must have faced a lot of hostility from this nikkei community, inclusive from his own relatives. Still worse, he was born during second war and there was a big hostility between brazilians and nikkeis and he must had a lot of problems from the brazilian side as well.
He worked in the auto industry as a toolmaker which is very unstable. Mommy worked for a public bank and had much more instruction, but dad decided to support the whole family without mommy's aid, and she left her job.
He has been a penny pinching all his hard life. I am a penny pinching thanks dad. I had to be: dad would discipline me for a light shining in a empty room, and many other small things.
I think that despite many problems, his life conduct worked reasonably well. He raised his children, they studied, married and now he has no financial problems. However, he is not able to spend anything with him and mommy. It was a whole life devoted to penny pinching. I am afraid that he will not be able to take his own money and use it in his own or mommy's benefit.
Mommy is with Alzheimer and a broken arm.
After this broken arm, she is continually lied in bed although it was not necessary. It had to be so due to the stairs in the house and she can't go to the kitchen. This lead to bedsores. Another problem: she can't control her urine or defecation; so she needs diapers. But diapers must be always changed and dad doesn't take care of her hygiene very well. I am afraid the bedsores can evolve to a much worse sore.
I and my sister agrees on moving parents to a nursing home; but dad doesn't want to hear anything about that. He would see it as a betrayal from his children.
My younger brother and spouse lives and supports (taking care of) my parents, however, dad pretends to be very careful to mother whenever he want to exercise his authority; but he delegates this mommy's care whenever it will give him a lot of problems. In this scenario, my sister in law can't help as she should help. For example: dad says he will feed mother, but he does in a very inappropriately way. I suppose that my sister in law would feed mother with much more responsibility. Despite that, both: brother and sister in law agrees on not moving my parents to a nursing home. They say that just talking about such subject would hurt dad.
Anyway, I think that dad must use his own money to be with mommy in a nursing home. I don't need or want inheritance. I really want that they have a more dignifying life end.
Dad has been a penny pinching all his life. It is time to spend some money for his and mother's sake. It is time to change habits, but it is not easy to change anything for an old man.
Tomorrow is Saturday. I will visit my parents. I would like to recommend dad to go to a nursing home with mommy. I think that he will get angry.
As my brother said: I have to pray about it.
---
Today is saturday. We didn't told anything about moving to a nursing home because dad is now under treatment for his strange music that is over and over on his head. Yesterday, 6, my sister drove dad and mummy to the doctor. Let us wait for the medicine improve dad's situation before talking about the nursing home.
Dad had a hard childhood. His mother separated from her husband, she married again and this new husband mistreated dad, and then his mother separated again. Worse than that. Her first husband was a gaijin (a non japanese, a non nikkei jin), but dad was raised in a nikkei community so he must have faced a lot of hostility from this nikkei community, inclusive from his own relatives. Still worse, he was born during second war and there was a big hostility between brazilians and nikkeis and he must had a lot of problems from the brazilian side as well.
He worked in the auto industry as a toolmaker which is very unstable. Mommy worked for a public bank and had much more instruction, but dad decided to support the whole family without mommy's aid, and she left her job.
He has been a penny pinching all his hard life. I am a penny pinching thanks dad. I had to be: dad would discipline me for a light shining in a empty room, and many other small things.
I think that despite many problems, his life conduct worked reasonably well. He raised his children, they studied, married and now he has no financial problems. However, he is not able to spend anything with him and mommy. It was a whole life devoted to penny pinching. I am afraid that he will not be able to take his own money and use it in his own or mommy's benefit.
Mommy is with Alzheimer and a broken arm.
After this broken arm, she is continually lied in bed although it was not necessary. It had to be so due to the stairs in the house and she can't go to the kitchen. This lead to bedsores. Another problem: she can't control her urine or defecation; so she needs diapers. But diapers must be always changed and dad doesn't take care of her hygiene very well. I am afraid the bedsores can evolve to a much worse sore.
I and my sister agrees on moving parents to a nursing home; but dad doesn't want to hear anything about that. He would see it as a betrayal from his children.
My younger brother and spouse lives and supports (taking care of) my parents, however, dad pretends to be very careful to mother whenever he want to exercise his authority; but he delegates this mommy's care whenever it will give him a lot of problems. In this scenario, my sister in law can't help as she should help. For example: dad says he will feed mother, but he does in a very inappropriately way. I suppose that my sister in law would feed mother with much more responsibility. Despite that, both: brother and sister in law agrees on not moving my parents to a nursing home. They say that just talking about such subject would hurt dad.
Anyway, I think that dad must use his own money to be with mommy in a nursing home. I don't need or want inheritance. I really want that they have a more dignifying life end.
Dad has been a penny pinching all his life. It is time to spend some money for his and mother's sake. It is time to change habits, but it is not easy to change anything for an old man.
Tomorrow is Saturday. I will visit my parents. I would like to recommend dad to go to a nursing home with mommy. I think that he will get angry.
As my brother said: I have to pray about it.
---
Today is saturday. We didn't told anything about moving to a nursing home because dad is now under treatment for his strange music that is over and over on his head. Yesterday, 6, my sister drove dad and mummy to the doctor. Let us wait for the medicine improve dad's situation before talking about the nursing home.
Sunday, July 1, 2018
What would I like to do before dying?
The rich in hell, who despised Lazarus, asked Abraham to come back to life in order to advise his loved ones how to live and escape a tormented life in hell.
I would like to:
Many of these tasks must be performed day by day. I don't need to be happy in the future; I must be happy now, with the Lord. All these things can be achieved with the resources the Lord has already provided; I don't need more money to pray and praise the Lord. So, why do I keep on staring so much to richness? It's illogical.
I would like to:
- conquer souls to Jesus.
- live praising the Lord, day by day. For instance, singing.
- pray more; I am not praying as I should.
- create a company that improves the world in which we live; as a gardener.
- observe Lord's creation
- be closed to my family - have good ties, good relationship, love, respect.
- have one or more friends (outside my family) that are a brother in Jesus. Perhaps, I would find a friend like that outside our little church, perhaps in a seminary.
- keep a healthy body: healthful food, exercise.
- read the Bible as it must be read; but we have always some bias. I would like to be more and more sure that the way I am reading the Bible is getting closer to what the Lord wants to teach me.
- be more and more like Jesus. I need to be more generous (I am not), be more merciful, love more, praise more, pray more. I have to understand the Lord more, to know him more, to be full of the Spirit, to receive the Spirit's power, to have more intimacy with the Lord (as Paul prayed in the Philippians favor)
Many of these tasks must be performed day by day. I don't need to be happy in the future; I must be happy now, with the Lord. All these things can be achieved with the resources the Lord has already provided; I don't need more money to pray and praise the Lord. So, why do I keep on staring so much to richness? It's illogical.
wife
My wife, daughter and daughter's friend are traveling to Canada, to learn English.
Today begins a period without wife and daughter. Perhaps, it is time to reflect about the difference that my wife makes in my life.
Today begins a period without wife and daughter. Perhaps, it is time to reflect about the difference that my wife makes in my life.
strange music
I visited my parents yesterday. Mommy is with a broken arm, Alzheimer, and can't go to the kitchen due his lack of equilibrium and the kitchen is downstairs. Poor mommy!
Dad keeps on listening to an evil music that is on his head. He thinks that this music is orchestrated by many evil people that know his steps and my steps too, because I'm always in this song. He told my sister in law about it, asking if she could listen to it. She couldn't.
My paranoid dad understood that she is some kind of evil spy taking information from his house to the great conspiracy against he and me; she bent my brother to the evil side; etc. What a crazy thought!
I tried to tell him that it was all in his head, but then I decided to participate in his story. I told him that their enemies could hire a sniper to kill me or kill him; that my sister in law could easily poison him, etc. (so many ways to kill). I asked him: - if this huge, evil, powerful group wants to kill him, why are they taking so long time? I tried to make him notice the fallacy of his own story.
I urged him to think like that:
- they are articulating my fall, but the Lord is my shield. He is strong and he can bear all evil against me.
I really would like that he lifted his eyes to look Jesus.
- they are articulating my fall, but the Lord is my shield. He is strong and he can bear all evil against me.
I really would like that he lifted his eyes to look Jesus.
Lord, help dad because he can't help himself.
Besides the spiritual side, my wife considered that dad should walk and drink water. I will try to help him in this aspect next Saturday.
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
hidden sins
As I said, Peter (and his wife) are very cautious to hide their sins from family and church, in opposite direction taken by John Baptist when baptizing.
A preacher who is struggling with immorality may keep preaching? I have always thought that a preacher immoral behavior would dirty the Word. I asked myself:
- Should I open something to the church? Let us suppose I know someone killed another man. Should I keep silent to the police? In what basis, a christian should denounce a brother's sin to the church? I have been silent, but is it correct?
Perhaps, I must be silent.
I have just read in Proverbs 10:12:
Hatred stirs up conflict,
but love covers over all wrongs.
In Hebrew, "cover" may be "hide". Hatred stirs up conflict in a church but love hides all sins. Hatred shows up all sin and love leads to communion.
Peter sinned against his wife who decided to be silent.
I will live in peace with it.
Let the Lord deal with this problem.
In proverbs 10:18:
Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips
and spreads slander is a fool.
I am quite sure that the couple, Peter and Helen, hides hatred with lying lips and spreads slander against me. Last year, in Sunday School, for instance, Peter didn't attend to the class avoiding my presence saying he had to take care of his health, but as soon as I was relocated to another class this year, he began to teach there. Isn't he concealing hatred with lying lips?
Perhaps, I am lying to myself saying that I want to expose Peter in search for holiness when in fact I want revenge due to Peter and Helen's bad behavior. Anyway, let the Lord be my shield. I won't expose him; Helen should do it, not me.
A preacher who is struggling with immorality may keep preaching? I have always thought that a preacher immoral behavior would dirty the Word. I asked myself:
- Should I open something to the church? Let us suppose I know someone killed another man. Should I keep silent to the police? In what basis, a christian should denounce a brother's sin to the church? I have been silent, but is it correct?
Perhaps, I must be silent.
I have just read in Proverbs 10:12:
Hatred stirs up conflict,
but love covers over all wrongs.
In Hebrew, "cover" may be "hide". Hatred stirs up conflict in a church but love hides all sins. Hatred shows up all sin and love leads to communion.
Peter sinned against his wife who decided to be silent.
I will live in peace with it.
Let the Lord deal with this problem.
In proverbs 10:18:
Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips
and spreads slander is a fool.
I am quite sure that the couple, Peter and Helen, hides hatred with lying lips and spreads slander against me. Last year, in Sunday School, for instance, Peter didn't attend to the class avoiding my presence saying he had to take care of his health, but as soon as I was relocated to another class this year, he began to teach there. Isn't he concealing hatred with lying lips?
Perhaps, I am lying to myself saying that I want to expose Peter in search for holiness when in fact I want revenge due to Peter and Helen's bad behavior. Anyway, let the Lord be my shield. I won't expose him; Helen should do it, not me.
Mummy
Mummy is 84 year's old, with Alzheimer and lack of equilibrium.
She felt on last Thursday and again on Sunday.
I visited her on Saturday, June, 23rd. It appeared to me that she had pain on her left shoulder, but nothing very severe. Anyway, I knew my sister (which is a physician) should look her.
My sister saw Mommy on Monday, taking her to First Aid Care. She had a broken arm and she will need a physiotherapist.
Saturday, I was observing her at her bed. She was sat down, but she couldn't lie nor stand up. She was always smoothing the blanket. I asked her what she would like to do, but she didn't answer. I prayed asking the Lord to take care of her in a loud voice, but she didn't pay attention. Did the Lord?
I must believe so.
I had to preach on the next day, Sunday, about Peter's mother in law cure on Matthew 8. My sermon was on the way that Jesus transformed Peter's house into a micro heaven where diseases and demons were expelled. Let us say it was some kind of triumphalist view: Jesus comes to my life making heaven to me. However, I was looking to my mommy and wondering: where is heaven?
For my mommy, she will be cured from her disease after death in a new body, with a clear brain. I have to write: Why do I believe Jesus will receive Mommy in paradise?
She felt on last Thursday and again on Sunday.
I visited her on Saturday, June, 23rd. It appeared to me that she had pain on her left shoulder, but nothing very severe. Anyway, I knew my sister (which is a physician) should look her.
My sister saw Mommy on Monday, taking her to First Aid Care. She had a broken arm and she will need a physiotherapist.
Saturday, I was observing her at her bed. She was sat down, but she couldn't lie nor stand up. She was always smoothing the blanket. I asked her what she would like to do, but she didn't answer. I prayed asking the Lord to take care of her in a loud voice, but she didn't pay attention. Did the Lord?
I must believe so.
I had to preach on the next day, Sunday, about Peter's mother in law cure on Matthew 8. My sermon was on the way that Jesus transformed Peter's house into a micro heaven where diseases and demons were expelled. Let us say it was some kind of triumphalist view: Jesus comes to my life making heaven to me. However, I was looking to my mommy and wondering: where is heaven?
For my mommy, she will be cured from her disease after death in a new body, with a clear brain. I have to write: Why do I believe Jesus will receive Mommy in paradise?
Monday, June 25, 2018
Feel loved
We are always seeking affection, love, tenderness from others. Diana told me: "I can't see love in your message", "you told what is written in the Bible, but where is love?".
I tried to explain her that love is in someone's head and it is very subjective. I told her:
Sao Paulo traffic is horrible and I only could see hate when going to work or coming back home.
Nowadays, I go by bicycle and pay attention to some blue flowers in the way.
I told to myself:
I will listen the Lord declaring his love to me whenever I see these blue flowers.
I was hoping that they were going to wither and disappear but they not. All long the year, my Lord keeps saying to me: I love you.
What did change? Do people in Sao Paulo stop hating or did I see something I was not paying attention?
She told me that perhaps I am in higher spiritual level. Anyway, the point is:
What is to be loved? Do you have inner capabilities to detect love? Perhaps, your "love sensors" are flawed and the first thing you need is a change of mind.
Yesterday night, at our family gathering, I told to my children this Diana history and also about my sister.
I really think that my sister was dad's favorite child, but despite that, she spent some time, money in psychologists for some traumatic lack of love when child. By opposite, I was the most castigated (hated?) child and today, my father shares his feelings preferentially to me.
I asked my children: what is happening? The problem is not love but some faith in love. I told them:
Please, believe you are loved by me, by your mother and specially by the Lord. If you don't believe you may end like my sister, Diana or worse.
I have just finished the dinner and my older son commented my message. Yesterday, I told that Jesus serve us because he cures as he has cured the Peter's mother in law in Matthew 8:14-17. I asked the congregation: Jesus cured but did he expect to be served? He cured Peter's mother in law but would he expect to be served by her? One old lady answered: "No". I replied with a strong "yes". Jesus expects that everyone who is cured by him, forgave by him, becomes his slave and serves him. My older son told me my direct answer was very funny; perhaps so direct that it was almost rude as showing a rude Master.
Anyway, today I really know that the Lord demands any christian to die for himself. A christian very alive for himself, that takes much care of himself (as I was) needs a lot of patience from the Lord. One day, I have to write something about perceiving the Lord as good or as bad. No one would say in a church that the Lord is bad, but I think that Diana thought something near that after listening to my message. Diana is not questioning my message after all, she is questioning the Lord. I really want to help her how to see kindness in Jesus words, even the harsh ones. She has to meditate on the Bible comparing to her own life and beliefs. The world sees Saint Claus as good and perhaps, Diana is looking for him in a church. She must find someone much greater than Saint Claus, someone to be adored, praised and served. That's the way to redemption.
I tried to explain her that love is in someone's head and it is very subjective. I told her:
Sao Paulo traffic is horrible and I only could see hate when going to work or coming back home.
Nowadays, I go by bicycle and pay attention to some blue flowers in the way.
I told to myself:
I will listen the Lord declaring his love to me whenever I see these blue flowers.
I was hoping that they were going to wither and disappear but they not. All long the year, my Lord keeps saying to me: I love you.
What did change? Do people in Sao Paulo stop hating or did I see something I was not paying attention?
She told me that perhaps I am in higher spiritual level. Anyway, the point is:
What is to be loved? Do you have inner capabilities to detect love? Perhaps, your "love sensors" are flawed and the first thing you need is a change of mind.
Yesterday night, at our family gathering, I told to my children this Diana history and also about my sister.
I really think that my sister was dad's favorite child, but despite that, she spent some time, money in psychologists for some traumatic lack of love when child. By opposite, I was the most castigated (hated?) child and today, my father shares his feelings preferentially to me.
I asked my children: what is happening? The problem is not love but some faith in love. I told them:
Please, believe you are loved by me, by your mother and specially by the Lord. If you don't believe you may end like my sister, Diana or worse.
I have just finished the dinner and my older son commented my message. Yesterday, I told that Jesus serve us because he cures as he has cured the Peter's mother in law in Matthew 8:14-17. I asked the congregation: Jesus cured but did he expect to be served? He cured Peter's mother in law but would he expect to be served by her? One old lady answered: "No". I replied with a strong "yes". Jesus expects that everyone who is cured by him, forgave by him, becomes his slave and serves him. My older son told me my direct answer was very funny; perhaps so direct that it was almost rude as showing a rude Master.
Anyway, today I really know that the Lord demands any christian to die for himself. A christian very alive for himself, that takes much care of himself (as I was) needs a lot of patience from the Lord. One day, I have to write something about perceiving the Lord as good or as bad. No one would say in a church that the Lord is bad, but I think that Diana thought something near that after listening to my message. Diana is not questioning my message after all, she is questioning the Lord. I really want to help her how to see kindness in Jesus words, even the harsh ones. She has to meditate on the Bible comparing to her own life and beliefs. The world sees Saint Claus as good and perhaps, Diana is looking for him in a church. She must find someone much greater than Saint Claus, someone to be adored, praised and served. That's the way to redemption.
a good preacher
I don't think that it's necessary to study in a seminary to be a good preacher, although a good seminary may provide a more solid foundation. However, in this world full of information, it is somehow easy to locate the good basis for preaching. Anyway, I want briefly think about what is a good preacher.
A good preacher must love his attendants as a good teacher. He must teach the Word of the Lord pointing the grace through Jesus. He must provide some illustration in his own life to show how the Word is applied in his own life. He must be some kind of Messiah because the Spirit of the Lord must be upon him. He must importunate his audience to be more Christ-like as he himself is becoming more Christ-like. As a teacher, he must look for his audience growth. He must not look for his audience appraisal but he must please the Lord.
Well, I think that, perhaps, the church doesn't enjoy my sermons.
Do they pay attention?
In general, they don't care to the message. Perhaps it's not the message that I preach, but more broadly, they don't care to the Lord's Word. I really think that they don't touch their Bibles during the week.
I would like to make them pay attention but without distorting the Bible to make it more appealing.
I would like to be more like Timothy Keller or R C Sproul.
Anyway, the Lord is the One who knows how I should preach.
My main church is not my local church.
I am much more focused in saving my own family.
So, a greater question is:
-------------------------------------------------------
how to make my own family love the Word?
-------------------------------------------------------
A good preacher must love his attendants as a good teacher. He must teach the Word of the Lord pointing the grace through Jesus. He must provide some illustration in his own life to show how the Word is applied in his own life. He must be some kind of Messiah because the Spirit of the Lord must be upon him. He must importunate his audience to be more Christ-like as he himself is becoming more Christ-like. As a teacher, he must look for his audience growth. He must not look for his audience appraisal but he must please the Lord.
Well, I think that, perhaps, the church doesn't enjoy my sermons.
Do they pay attention?
In general, they don't care to the message. Perhaps it's not the message that I preach, but more broadly, they don't care to the Lord's Word. I really think that they don't touch their Bibles during the week.
I would like to make them pay attention but without distorting the Bible to make it more appealing.
I would like to be more like Timothy Keller or R C Sproul.
Anyway, the Lord is the One who knows how I should preach.
My main church is not my local church.
I am much more focused in saving my own family.
So, a greater question is:
-------------------------------------------------------
how to make my own family love the Word?
-------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, June 24, 2018
yeast
"Watch out!" Jesus warned them. "Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees." Matt 16:6
A great sin that is present in churches is hypocrisy.
Let my Lord understand how to beware of the hypocrisy and how to deal with it because I don't know what to do.
Another preacher, Peter, told me he had fallen in prostitution. I made what I understood to help him. I urged him to confess his sin to our senior pastor and he did it. I was praying and keeping contact with him in order to help him not to fall again. My idea was that he should call me whenever temptation comes, however, I decided to frequently call him up too. After some time, it became apparent that I was calling him up but not vice versa. I was somehow making him confess his sins in order to set him free. One day he told me he had to destroy his cellular chip because some prostitute was calling him after he had made sex by phone.
Peter didn't confess his subsequent sins to our senior pastor that was keeping him as a preacher as he thought that Peter's problem was solved.
I denounced Peter's new problem to our senior pastor and asked if it was right to keep Peter as a preacher.
Our senior pastor decided that Peter should stop preaching.
Peter asked me if I had told something to our senior pastor and I confessed that I did it.
He became very angry and thought that I envied him and wanted his position. Let me be clear: I didn't attend any seminary and I don't earn a nickel to preach. He isn't paid too although he is a seminarian.
Peter, practically, has never confessed any more sin after it.
In some months (one year?), Peter was restored to his original position, but I never trusted him again. He never confessed his sins to the church.
Should I say something in public?
His wife, Helen, pretended that nothing happened to her family and church. Why? I suppose it was pride. Before I arrived to this local church, Peter was the only one who was preaching once per month with our senior pastor. Peter, the seminarian, was the senior pastor's chosen one to keep the church after his death. I remember that I had a desire of supporting him (I mean, not financially, but in work) in my retirement, preaching with him. I don't know how many times I said this to Peter. So I guess, he trusted in me. Helen seemed very proud to see her husband as our church's future and she seemed to oppose anyone who could take her husband position. Her honor, dignity was in Peter's success as the new preacher. So, she would lose all her dignity if all church had known about Peter's adultery. For her, it was crucial that Peter kept silent. I suppose that now she is very disappointed with him, not only due to prostitution, but also because he confessed his sins to me. I tried to help her husband, but I couldn't. Now, I feel she hates me, perhaps because I couldn't be a great helper to Peter, and also, because now I understand a bit more of her wicked heart. Obviously, it is all camouflaged.
The couple began attending a meeting in another church. The idea is to confess sins but with the explicit rule that no one should comment about other's sins. As I don't trust him anymore, I think that he is not being serious. It is a way to search for some cure by confessing sins in a irresponsible way as the other church has no authority over him. Does it work?
They began to take another member from our church, Diana, with them to this meeting. Coincidentally, Diana was the one who told me I was a bad preacher. She has problems with her daughter. I asked her about her daughter today. After some chat, she said that my sermons where mechanical, without love - the same critics of Helen to my sermons.
They began to take another member from our church, Diana, with them to this meeting. Coincidentally, Diana was the one who told me I was a bad preacher. She has problems with her daughter. I asked her about her daughter today. After some chat, she said that my sermons where mechanical, without love - the same critics of Helen to my sermons.
Perhaps, she was contaminated by the yeast.
Hidden sins weakens the church because it allows the evil acting in darkness.
However is it possible to have really a church in the light, where the sins are exposed?
However is it possible to have really a church in the light, where the sins are exposed?
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Today, Sunday - Christian Sabbath
Today at Sunday School we went on the short catechism from Westminster and read the third and fourth commandments. Following this reasoning, today is the christian sabbath. We (my family) spent almost all day on church related activities although at the end of day, Brazil was playing against Swiss at Russia copa games and my older son, who likes soccer very much, lost half of the game.
My friend preached today about Felipe at Acts 8. He told about daemon exorcism. He illustrated it saying that, according to another pastor called Carlos, "Igreja Universal" really exorcised a daemon from Carlos's mother and after some time, Carlos himself, learned to exorcise daemons. I don't like "Igreja Universal" at all. For me, it follows the prosperity theology and, as many charlatans, attracts greedy and fool people. Jesus said in Matthew 7 that many exorcists will be disappointed at the judgement day and for me, many from "Igreja Universal" will be there. Let us see in future, the Lord knows all things.
As a coincidence, or the Lord's will, next Sunday I will preach about the same subject of daemon possessed men, as I am following Matthew 8 but I will have a different approach. I will talk that in some ways, any person may be influenced by daemons even those who call themselves christians. Nightmares, suicidal thoughts, some kind of depression, anger for no reason, etc. are related to daemon activities. It is the christian obligation to take these things to Jesus as people did in Matthew 8:16 when they led many daemon possessed people to Jesus.
My friend preached today about Felipe at Acts 8. He told about daemon exorcism. He illustrated it saying that, according to another pastor called Carlos, "Igreja Universal" really exorcised a daemon from Carlos's mother and after some time, Carlos himself, learned to exorcise daemons. I don't like "Igreja Universal" at all. For me, it follows the prosperity theology and, as many charlatans, attracts greedy and fool people. Jesus said in Matthew 7 that many exorcists will be disappointed at the judgement day and for me, many from "Igreja Universal" will be there. Let us see in future, the Lord knows all things.
As a coincidence, or the Lord's will, next Sunday I will preach about the same subject of daemon possessed men, as I am following Matthew 8 but I will have a different approach. I will talk that in some ways, any person may be influenced by daemons even those who call themselves christians. Nightmares, suicidal thoughts, some kind of depression, anger for no reason, etc. are related to daemon activities. It is the christian obligation to take these things to Jesus as people did in Matthew 8:16 when they led many daemon possessed people to Jesus.
Saturday, June 16, 2018
affirmation
Yesterday, one student asked me why did I choose to be a professor. The chat turned into how to deal with students. I told her that it took some time, years, to understand my position as a professor and the authority that I should (not optional) exercise.
Today I told this story to my uncle, 87 years old, and compared to what happened to me as a christian. It took some time to take my position as a christian. I witnessed what Jesus made in my life. He changed the way I see things: life and death. I told him that I was always afraid to get some sickness from others. I still am afraid but not as much as before. I told him how I was a stingy because I was afraid of the future, but today not so much because I know that the Lord takes care of my future. I tried to show him that Jesus transformed my life and I asked him to think about Jesus before his death. He began to talk that he didn't go to church for a very long time and suddenly changed the subject completely.
It is not so easy to share the gospel. I think that it is very difficult to make others listen to it.
Today I told this story to my uncle, 87 years old, and compared to what happened to me as a christian. It took some time to take my position as a christian. I witnessed what Jesus made in my life. He changed the way I see things: life and death. I told him that I was always afraid to get some sickness from others. I still am afraid but not as much as before. I told him how I was a stingy because I was afraid of the future, but today not so much because I know that the Lord takes care of my future. I tried to show him that Jesus transformed my life and I asked him to think about Jesus before his death. He began to talk that he didn't go to church for a very long time and suddenly changed the subject completely.
It is not so easy to share the gospel. I think that it is very difficult to make others listen to it.
talking about Jesus
Today I will see my old uncle who is more than 85 years old, perhaps around 90 years old.
He studied sociology, became a history teacher, published many articles in journal and had some sympathy to "Partido dos Trabalhodores".
He is seeing my mother and taking a photo of the cemetery contract. I asked my father about cremation or burying and he decided to burying. I told him that a more pleasant conversation would be about Jesus.
How would I talk him about Jesus?
I would like to talk about:
- the book of Matthew: a jew that shows Jesus as the rejected Messiah to Israel. The Messiah is the one who was promised to reign and carry our burdens, our diseases, our sins.
- the old testament contains prophecies that make sense looking to Jesus but it is nonsense without Jesus. How to understand prophecies about a king like David and the one who carries our sins?
- the challenge to believe due to so many problems in church.
- the challenge of not believing when we face ourselves and ineptitude of pleasing our Creator.
- the belief that He reigns over my heart in a invisible kingdom.
- the belief that He returns and reigns over the elects in a visible kingdom.
How to talk to him in a very direct way so that he believe in Jesus?
He studied sociology, became a history teacher, published many articles in journal and had some sympathy to "Partido dos Trabalhodores".
He is seeing my mother and taking a photo of the cemetery contract. I asked my father about cremation or burying and he decided to burying. I told him that a more pleasant conversation would be about Jesus.
How would I talk him about Jesus?
I would like to talk about:
- the book of Matthew: a jew that shows Jesus as the rejected Messiah to Israel. The Messiah is the one who was promised to reign and carry our burdens, our diseases, our sins.
- the old testament contains prophecies that make sense looking to Jesus but it is nonsense without Jesus. How to understand prophecies about a king like David and the one who carries our sins?
- the challenge to believe due to so many problems in church.
- the challenge of not believing when we face ourselves and ineptitude of pleasing our Creator.
- the belief that He reigns over my heart in a invisible kingdom.
- the belief that He returns and reigns over the elects in a visible kingdom.
How to talk to him in a very direct way so that he believe in Jesus?
Sunday, June 10, 2018
Preparing the next sermon
My next sermon is based on the following text from Matthew 8:
Matthew focus on presenting Jesus as the Messiah, as the king of heaven and not as a normal king from this earth. An earth king searches for power, riches, and demands to be praised. Jesus don't search for power, as He has already power which can be shown by his miracles. An earth king wants power to extend his dominion, Jesus uses his power to heal men. An earth king searches for great things to himself and consequently, talks to other powerful men and despise the weak. By other hand, Jesus deals with the infamous men and women: a leprosy, a roman centurion and now, Peter's mother-in-law and demon-possessed.
The text shows how small things in Jesus hand may turn into a divine intervention. Isn't a small thing to find a woman lying in bed with a fever? Jesus deals with my own small things.
In fact, it is very different to see the sky with Jesus and without Jesus. Now, the clouds say something to me: "The Lord loves you" but it was not like that for most of my days even though I read the Bible and went to church.
It is very different to have fever with Jesus and without Jesus. Perhaps, Jesus don't cure, but his presence fills me with joy even when I am sick.
For me, Jesus sets my mind free from demons. I used to be paranoid as bad things happened to me orchestrated by evil people. Today, I want to discover what my good Pastor wants to teach me through his staff. I am not responsible to be so smart to avoid bad things to me; but my Lord is somehow responsible to me. He loves me and sets me free. He is tender with me.
Matthew reminds us that Jesus healed and exorcised as a fulfillment of Isaiah 53: "He took up our infirmities and bore our diseases".
I must read as a personal prophecy:
He took up my own infirmities and bore my diseases.
He took up my paranoid mind, my nightmares, my insecurity, my sins so that I could belong to Him, to be united with my Creator.
What a blessing!
Jesus Heals Many
14 When Jesus came into Peter’s house, he saw Peter’s mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever. 15 He touched her hand and the fever left her, and she got up and began to wait on him.
16 When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick. 17 This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:
The text shows how small things in Jesus hand may turn into a divine intervention. Isn't a small thing to find a woman lying in bed with a fever? Jesus deals with my own small things.
In fact, it is very different to see the sky with Jesus and without Jesus. Now, the clouds say something to me: "The Lord loves you" but it was not like that for most of my days even though I read the Bible and went to church.
It is very different to have fever with Jesus and without Jesus. Perhaps, Jesus don't cure, but his presence fills me with joy even when I am sick.
For me, Jesus sets my mind free from demons. I used to be paranoid as bad things happened to me orchestrated by evil people. Today, I want to discover what my good Pastor wants to teach me through his staff. I am not responsible to be so smart to avoid bad things to me; but my Lord is somehow responsible to me. He loves me and sets me free. He is tender with me.
Matthew reminds us that Jesus healed and exorcised as a fulfillment of Isaiah 53: "He took up our infirmities and bore our diseases".
I must read as a personal prophecy:
He took up my own infirmities and bore my diseases.
He took up my paranoid mind, my nightmares, my insecurity, my sins so that I could belong to Him, to be united with my Creator.
What a blessing!
Sunday, the Christian Sabbath
Today, at Sunday school, I was reading the third commandment: Keep the Sabbath, rest in the Sabbath, don't profane the holly day.
After Sunday school, we have lunch at our small church and I was waiting for my 2 sons who were called to help in a church program on July vacation. I am at home for one hour, took shower and everybody is watching netflix, but me.
I am wondering what does it really mean to keep the Sabbath for a Christian.
Is it correct to watch netflix?
Do we have to read the Bible, pray, etc. all Sunday?
We are always prone to know exactly what the commandments say, so the Jews think that it is very necessary to have the Talmud and rabbinic teaching to specify very clearly if one may or may not use an elevator on the Sabbath, the maximum weight allowed to carry, etc.
Jesus teaching don't specify things like that. A person may or may not call an elevator on the Sabbath and it may or may not lead to sin.
I should have visited mr Shizuo, who is ill in the hospital, and pray for him.
Writing this blog or prepare the next sermon is another task very suited to Sunday because it put my mind on Him. It is possible to carry some weight with the mind on the Lord as it is possible not to carry anything and sinning altogether.
After Sunday school, we have lunch at our small church and I was waiting for my 2 sons who were called to help in a church program on July vacation. I am at home for one hour, took shower and everybody is watching netflix, but me.
I am wondering what does it really mean to keep the Sabbath for a Christian.
Is it correct to watch netflix?
Do we have to read the Bible, pray, etc. all Sunday?
We are always prone to know exactly what the commandments say, so the Jews think that it is very necessary to have the Talmud and rabbinic teaching to specify very clearly if one may or may not use an elevator on the Sabbath, the maximum weight allowed to carry, etc.
Jesus teaching don't specify things like that. A person may or may not call an elevator on the Sabbath and it may or may not lead to sin.
I should have visited mr Shizuo, who is ill in the hospital, and pray for him.
Writing this blog or prepare the next sermon is another task very suited to Sunday because it put my mind on Him. It is possible to carry some weight with the mind on the Lord as it is possible not to carry anything and sinning altogether.
Saturday, June 9, 2018
Saturday, today.
My mommy is with Alzheimer, lives with my dad and my brother's family.
I visit them every Saturday morning, read the Bible and sometimes have lunch. My sister joins us in less frequent way.
Today is Saturday.
My family: spouse and children went to help a bazaar of a "Pro Poor Children Organization". This organization received donation (toys, clothes) that are selling today for a very low price.
I will take my bike and visit my parents very soon, meanwhile, I was watching some documentaries in youtube. One was https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp4YZdSz2aA about plastic surgery in Seoul, another was about microdosing LSD. What are we expecting from hearts without Jesus? Where may someone find rest in this world?
Time to leave the bed. I will take my breakfast.
I visit them every Saturday morning, read the Bible and sometimes have lunch. My sister joins us in less frequent way.
Today is Saturday.
My family: spouse and children went to help a bazaar of a "Pro Poor Children Organization". This organization received donation (toys, clothes) that are selling today for a very low price.
I will take my bike and visit my parents very soon, meanwhile, I was watching some documentaries in youtube. One was https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp4YZdSz2aA about plastic surgery in Seoul, another was about microdosing LSD. What are we expecting from hearts without Jesus? Where may someone find rest in this world?
Time to leave the bed. I will take my breakfast.
Friday, June 8, 2018
Jesus and The fear of the Lord
The world has a reasoning like that:
- The Lord forgives all my sins in Jesus; so I really do not need to fear the Lord.
In fact, I have already some people say that the word "fear" means respect. Really? I am quite sure that "fear" means "fear". Jesus told in Matthew 10:28:
28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
Jesus told that I must be afraid of the Lord because He can destroy me, destroy my soul and body. This is somehow stronger than respect.
Today, as I was leaving my work, my professor (the one who oriented my thesis) made fun of me. He is sick and he was playing that he would transmit me his sickness. Nothing serious, but I began to think if he would play like that to some other guy. Wasn't he showing some lack of respect?
I took my bike and I was looking the beautiful sunset created by the Lord, then I thought:
- Shouldn't I fear much more the Lord than my professor?
The Lord is the one who really may destroy me; not my professor (truly, I think he is not a bad guy) nor any other human being (I know a lot of humans worse than my professor). What have I done to the Lord that I don't deserve to be destroyed by Him?
The only thing I am doing is to look to Jesus on the cross.
Jesus came to the oppressed and not to the oppressor. He came to those who searches refuge on the Rock. Let my wicked heart praise Him when I am feeling bad, when I am feeling oppressed, because He is taking care of me.
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Bible preaching
I am always trying to preach using three questions that will guide the sermon and I want to make these three points preaching very clear to the congregation. Sometimes, I was very proud that I could make the text much simpler, much easier to understand even though, making hard questions that the text poses. That is why, I got offended when someone said my preaching was wordy.
Pr. John MacArthur is a great preacher that I have been following for years. It is very common that I listen to him when preparing my own sermons. In fact, for studying the sermon of the mount, I tried to listen to Tim Keller whenever he had a message about a certain passage, John MacArthur that preached all verses of Matthew (so, no excuse to not listen him) and mainly Martin Lloyd Jones who was, for me, the higher authority on the "Sermon of the Mount". I am now in Matthew 8, so I am following J MacArthur now.
I watched:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8nVKA2rsPI
I understood that pr. John MacArthur focus the Word and he does not care to divide the text or take three points from it. In fact, it is common that I consider making improvements to John MacArthur sermons when I divide the text in three topics, but perhaps, I should not care so much in clarifying the Bible.
Pr. John MacArthur is a great preacher that I have been following for years. It is very common that I listen to him when preparing my own sermons. In fact, for studying the sermon of the mount, I tried to listen to Tim Keller whenever he had a message about a certain passage, John MacArthur that preached all verses of Matthew (so, no excuse to not listen him) and mainly Martin Lloyd Jones who was, for me, the higher authority on the "Sermon of the Mount". I am now in Matthew 8, so I am following J MacArthur now.
I watched:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8nVKA2rsPI
I understood that pr. John MacArthur focus the Word and he does not care to divide the text or take three points from it. In fact, it is common that I consider making improvements to John MacArthur sermons when I divide the text in three topics, but perhaps, I should not care so much in clarifying the Bible.
Sunday, June 3, 2018
Were all my days written before?
I decided to title this blog as Psalm 139 - NVI due to verse 16:
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
When I read it, I understood that all my days were written in the book of the Lord. A friend of mine explained that "days" are not in Hebrew. In King James, we see "members" instead of "days" which is closer to the original in Hebrew, although "members" are not written too.
16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
My friend understood that this divine book is the DNA code which encodes how the members and the whole body will be created. He believes in Free Will so he advocates that the Lord has not written all our days in a book. If a man sins because his will is totally separated from the Lord's will, how would the Lord has written all our days?
Well, now I am somehow convinced that the King James translation is better than NVI, but I still believe that the Lord knows every detail of my future, my decisions and my sins included, that is, the meaning of NVI translation is also correct.
The Lord is outside this finite universe, this finite space and time; and for me, He knows everything, every quantum particle, every electron location of this universe. He knows all my thoughts, all my sins and all my future sins because as a writer outside his own book, He may see things in which time He desires.
He even designed me before creates the Universe, as in Ephesians 1. How? I do not know. Why? He wanted me to have some grasp of who He is and in doing so, adore Him.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
When I read it, I understood that all my days were written in the book of the Lord. A friend of mine explained that "days" are not in Hebrew. In King James, we see "members" instead of "days" which is closer to the original in Hebrew, although "members" are not written too.
16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
My friend understood that this divine book is the DNA code which encodes how the members and the whole body will be created. He believes in Free Will so he advocates that the Lord has not written all our days in a book. If a man sins because his will is totally separated from the Lord's will, how would the Lord has written all our days?
Well, now I am somehow convinced that the King James translation is better than NVI, but I still believe that the Lord knows every detail of my future, my decisions and my sins included, that is, the meaning of NVI translation is also correct.
The Lord is outside this finite universe, this finite space and time; and for me, He knows everything, every quantum particle, every electron location of this universe. He knows all my thoughts, all my sins and all my future sins because as a writer outside his own book, He may see things in which time He desires.
He even designed me before creates the Universe, as in Ephesians 1. How? I do not know. Why? He wanted me to have some grasp of who He is and in doing so, adore Him.
Critique
The Diana's critique about my last sermon (last week) lasted in my head despite I have written my last post.
I am really used to receive criticism, so what did last week critique so disturbing?
I concluded that what really offended me was something like: "your message was very confusing, wordy, and the congregation was not apt to digest it".
So, why this critique really offended me?
Because, I take myself as a great professor that can clarify the Bible to the congregation. Surely, I see myself as much better prepared than other teachers and I really mean it.
However, am I responsible to make the audience understand the Bible?
The Bible is not simple. I make some effort to clarify it, but am I doing right?
The book of Mark is full of mysteries and ends with a great question: what happened to Jesus body? (the resurrection was added to Mark).
The gospel says that Jesus was talking to parables so that they hear and do not understand; so that they do not convert. Very strange a statement like that in the gospel...
It is in Matthew 13:14-15:
In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15 For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15 For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’
If it is all true to Jesus, why on earth should I teach about the Bible in a clear way so that all congregation listens, repents and has a new life? I would like to, but I am not responsible to it. I do not see Jesus thinking like that.
Jesus attracts some people and repels other people, He saves and He condemns.
In conclusion, I am not so responsible to convert people and, I am not so responsible to clarify the message. Perhaps, a great human effort to clarify the sermon may damage the gospel and take away its beauty. There are a lot of mysteries in God's Word. Perhaps, if only I could motivate the congregation to search for answers in the Bible, to dig in its mysteries... then I would have preached well.
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