parents

My parents are old, dad 81, mommy 84.
Dad had a hard childhood. His mother separated from her husband, she married again and this new husband mistreated dad, and then his mother separated again. Worse than that. Her first husband was a gaijin (a non japanese, a non nikkei jin), but dad was raised in a nikkei community so he must have faced a lot of hostility from this nikkei community, inclusive from his own relatives. Still worse, he was born during second war and there was a big hostility between brazilians and nikkeis and he must had a lot of problems from the brazilian side as well.
He worked in the auto industry as a toolmaker which is very unstable. Mommy worked for a public bank and had much more instruction, but dad decided to support the whole family without mommy's aid, and she left her job.
He has been a penny pinching all his hard life. I am a penny pinching thanks dad. I had to be: dad would discipline me for a light shining in a empty room, and many other small things.
I think that despite many problems, his life conduct worked reasonably well. He raised his children, they studied, married and now he has no financial problems. However, he is not able to spend anything with him and mommy. It was a whole life devoted to penny pinching. I am afraid that he will not be able to take his own money and use it in his own or mommy's benefit.
Mommy is with Alzheimer and a broken arm.
After this broken arm, she is continually lied in bed although it was not necessary. It had to be so due to the stairs in the house and she can't go to the kitchen. This lead to bedsores. Another problem: she can't control her urine or defecation; so she needs diapers. But diapers must be always changed and dad doesn't take care of her hygiene very well. I am afraid the bedsores can evolve to a much worse sore.
I and my sister agrees on moving parents to a nursing home; but dad doesn't want to hear anything about that. He would see it as a betrayal from his children.
My younger brother and spouse lives and supports (taking care of) my parents, however, dad pretends to be very careful to mother whenever he want to exercise his authority; but he delegates this mommy's care whenever it will give him a lot of problems. In this scenario, my sister in law can't help as she should help. For example: dad says he will feed mother, but he does in a very inappropriately way. I suppose that my sister in law would feed mother with much more responsibility. Despite that, both: brother and sister in law agrees on not moving my parents to a nursing home. They say that just talking about such subject would hurt dad.
Anyway, I think that dad must use his own money to be with mommy in a nursing home. I don't need or want inheritance. I really want that they have a more dignifying life end.
Dad has been a penny pinching all his life. It is time to spend some money for his and mother's sake. It is time to change habits, but it is not easy to change anything for an old man.
Tomorrow is Saturday. I will visit my parents. I would like to recommend dad to go to a nursing home with mommy. I think that he will get angry.
As my brother said: I have to pray about it.
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Today is saturday. We didn't told anything about moving to a nursing home because dad is now under treatment for his strange music that is over and over on his head. Yesterday, 6, my sister drove dad and mummy to the doctor. Let us wait for the medicine improve dad's situation before talking about the nursing home.