time and money

The purpose of my life is to glorify the Lord and rejoice on him.
The purpose of my life isn't to be rich and live by passive income.
Perhaps, one day, I will live accordingly to what I believe.
Although I really search the Lord by medidating on his words, I feel that I need to grow much more in love, peace and joy.
The Lord has already provided me enough wealth to me. I don't need more. I am very aware of it, however, I enjoy very much to search for new companies to invest; or to have a more focused portfolio that generates more wealth.
I have enough money.
When I spend my time in money related things, am using it wisely?
I know that following some simple principles, I will have more than enough untill my death; and I also know that I won't have much more money if I study more.
So, let me rejoice more on the Lord.
Let me stop waisting time and live to the Lord.
Let me praise him for my life, NOW.
Let me praise him for my health, my family and my friends; for those that the Lord put on my way.
Lord, forgive me when I seem so much focused on money as it were my god.
Forgive me when I don't pray for people around me to convert and follow you.
Help me to bless all people around me, mainly my wife and my children; and after, people in the church, and after, relatives that I meed on Christmas.
Let my lips reflect what is in my heart: that you are my Lord and not that money is my god.
It is so easy to meet people on Christmas and talk about money and it is so difficult to talk about Jesus.
I really don't think that money talking is a sin per si. Jesus himself talked a lot about money. He made many parables talking about treasures, He even compared the Kingdom of Heavens as a great perl that was of great value. So, there is no sin to talk about money; somehow everybody is searching for money, a better life, and even to serve others when discuss projects to earn money. It is fun to me and fun to a lot of people.
However, it is so easy to forget Jesus.
Is there any way to start a conversation talking about money and somehow, change to Jesus? Is there any way to use money related things to lead people to Jesus?
Jesus is my great treasure.
or
money is my great treasure.
In case of money, I don't want to share my wealth position and even I don't want to share my money.
In case of Jesus, I want to teach my knowledge of Him and I want to share Jesus with others.
Let Jesus be my great treasure, Lord.
Let the Spirit guide me.

Mercy, not sacrifice

I am going to preach Matthew 12:1-14 today.
Jesus quoted Hosea 6:6 two times: Matthew 9:13 and Matthew 12:7. There, we read:
For I desired mercy, and not sacrifice; and the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.

This verse is connected to Mark 12:33

And I know it is important to love him with all my heart and all my understanding and all my strength, and to love my neighbor as myself. This is more important than to offer all of the burnt offerings and sacrifices required in the law.”

Let the preacher preach to himself first, and then to others.
The way I spend my time shows a lot about how I love the Lord and love others. Do I seek to know the Lord and do I have mercy?
I attended the church since childhood. In general, I saw the Lord as the universe's Commander who created a lot of rules: don't do this or that. If you sin, you are in hell unless you repent.
How should I rest in the Lord with such thoughts?
Although I had to believe that the Lord is good and his mercy endures forever, in fact, the Lord was a rigid commander. I was very prompted to think: ‘Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed" Matt25:24
In order to please him, I had to constrain myself in many aspects and in doing so, I was ready to judge others who didn't constrain themselves; that is: I was a religious man, but without mercy. But, I still hadn't peace in my heart because the Lord was like a lion, eager to attact me.
As I began to understand that I belong to the Lord despite all my sins, I began to rest on him. I believe that I began to love more others and be more merciful to others because the Lord has been merciful to me.
Therefore, I know that I am in the Way to know the Lord more and to love others more. Even though I enjoy staying with believers, there are many and many times that I prefer to stay alone. Am I wrong? Maybe. These days, I am spending my time thinking about money allocation, much more than putting my thoughts in the Lord. Am I wrong? Maybe. Anyway, I am quite sure that the One who began the work on me, will complete it.
In today's sermon, Jesus is defending his disciples that were accused of not keeping the Sabbath because they caught grain and were eating it. Jesus said:

7 But if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless. 8 For the Son of Man is lord of the sabbath.”

Jesus is saying this to me, too; mainly when I saw the Lord as a lion who was eager to send me to hell by not tithing, for example. I didn't understand that the Lord desire mercy, because for me, the Lord was nor merciful and the only way to please him was by sacrifice. So, in the same way, I was eager to condemn the guiltless.
The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath, he is the Lord of the tithing, he is the Lord of any ceremonial law and I love him more than the ceremonial law.

Predestination

Now, in 2019, I exist.
My hands that are writing this post are formed by carbon, hidrogen, and some other atoms. I was born in 1963, so, certainly, no one of these atoms were "mine" in 1961. I daresay that most of these atoms didn't belong to my hands 3, 4 years ago.
Do I have these atoms, molecules? Do I really own my body?
Do I own my mind?
Do I know the Lord?
How do all these things happen?
The Lord decided a long time ago, that he would create the C, H, O, etc. and assemble them on my hands. He decided that he would create my brain, and that he would put "my" thoughts in it.
Do my thoughts are really mine?
I am yours, Lord.
Praise be to you because I am yours.

Matthew 11:20-30; Responsability and rest

Today I preached Matthew 11:20-30. Jesus foresees a fierce punishment to the cities of Galilee where he showed many miracles because they didn't repent. The Bible says that the more one receives from the Lord (revelation, miracles), the more he will be charged. There are different degrees of responsibility: an intelligent person is more responsible than a dummy one. There are different kinds of people: even though, one may read the Bible and attend many sermons, he doesn't believe. Other may receive the gospel quickly. So, how does it happen? People from Cafarnaum had hard hearts, but why some have hard hearts and others not?
A normal preacher would be disappointed with himself if after a heavy work, there were just a few converts; but Jesus told that the Father decided to reveal celestial things to little children, that is, people who are not wise in their own eyes. So, what happened to Cafarnaum is not Jesus' fault. Jesus is talking about predestination, the will of the Lord that transcends human desires.
Jesus says that he is the one who reveals the Father and after that, he invites anyone who is weary and burdened to go to him. The Son has the power to reveal the Father and in doing so, he will provide rest to the one who goes to him. Interestingly, this rest comes from taking seriously Jesus teachings (his yoke) and be his disciple (learn from him). He is the teacher, I am his disciple. He is not a furious and proud teacher who mistreats his own disciples. He is a gentle and humble teacher that takes care of his disciples.
He is a teacher that makes the lesson (love the Father, and love others as yourself) easy.
Amem to this.
I really think that the Lord revealed me this sermon, but I don't really feel proud about receiving this revelation, by opposite. This afternoon, after preaching, I watched some youtube videos about finance, but with some kind of sorrow in my heart. I know, I really know, that the great wealth is not money. So, I was sorrow with my own heart because I should focus on love the Father, and love others, not money.
That is why I decided to write this post: to stop thinking about foolishness and focus on Jesus.
I said in public that satisfaction is in Jesus.
Is this real to me?
Do I have satisfaction in Jesus?
I said in public that there is a music which says: "Jesus is everthing to me".
Is it true to me?
Yes, it is true, even though, sometimes I loose the way; but my dear Jesus is the good pastor who leads me back to the way.
It is true: I find satisfaction in Jesus because I believe that he is powerful, much more powerful than my own sins. So I find satisfaction in Jesus when I repent (about looking youtube videos about finance at Sunday afternoon) and find the cure in him.
Love means to cultivate relationships.
Sir, let me be a good husband and a good father today.

God forbid

My father, 82 years old, has paraphrenia. He behaves as someone with schizophrenia. It means that he is somehow paranoid about everybody. Everyone has stolen money from him, mainly my sister in law that lives with him. He listens to what he calls a "little radio". Nowadays, this radio makes he goes somewhere to receive a big check due to selling his own house to Bolsonaro (he means the president's son). However, I explained a thousand times, that this radio is a liar and besides that, all his real estate are blocked due to inventory.
Until now, he has been receiving me well when I visit him, but today, he accused me of taking his money. I went there specially to talk to him, but I couldn't.
As a christian, I understand that I'm a heaven citizen, that my real place is not here; so I don't have to be worried about money. However, I really enjoy thinking about finance, stocks, companies and I would like to become a better investor.
God forbid that I become paranoid as my father. He lives in a world in which he must have money, where every cent counts. He can't enjoy all the gifts that the Lord has provided to him, he even can't see that the Lord is good. He tries to find rest in money where thieves (his loved ones) always rob him. He can't see that he is loved. He can´t rest. He always must pursue an imaginary deal where he earns millions by selling a house. Poor dad! I had admired my father, I thought he was a man with much more good sense than a lot of people in a university, but today, he is really crazy. Poor me that I went there to visit him and I was misinterpreted.
God forbid that I can't rest in Him.
God forbid that I see money as my great treasure because I know that my evil heart longs for money.
Let my Lord be merciful to me and make me rest in Him, always.
Let my Lord make me understand that he is good and he gives whatever he wants to his own children.

Church is still diminishing

Last Sunday, the Yamashita family didn't attend the church. Yamashita Okusan (the wife) sees everyone in church as a hypocrite, so she had not being attending the church for the last 10 Sundays. Her husband went alone with his children. Last Sunday, he gave up (let us say) and went to another church suitable to his wife's wish.
I told him that he is not wrong: our little church is not the only church and I think that, it's not a great sin to move to another church; mainly for saving the marriage. If she wanted to go to a "macumba center  (witchcraft) ", it would be a very different situation.
I talked to our new pastor yesterday, he thinks different. Yamashita san should stand firm, even risking his marriage, because it will not solve his wife problems (he was not very specific about her problem) and leaving the church turns into a bad testimony to his children.
Yamashita san (the husband) has a small business and decided to help one unemployed member (Kang); so they opened a new small business in another place. This new small business turned belly up, they fought, Yamashita Okusan was very displeased with all this situation and, although Kang's family had already left our small church, she couldn't go there anymore due to an employee (now unemployed) who is still in our church.
We, my family, went to the church today. The sensei (senior pastor) was very worried about our position as my children are lonely without the Yamashita's children companion.

father as a widower

Father were used to talk to mommy even when she could not talk anything due to Alzheimer. He couldn't see her as a sick person. When she began to deteriorate, he blamed us to take her to the doctor, and have become ill due to the treatment.
She died in a nursing home. They attached her to a wheelchair to prevent that she would walk, fall and break a bone. My father was upset. He blamed the nursing home of blocking mommy and turning her much more dependent of the facilities, so that she couldn't return home.
He tried many times to go there and "save" her from that place, but, I think, that he was aware that he would have to take properly care of her: feeding, changing diapers, cleaning, etc., so he gave up the idea.
When mother died, I thought dad would blame us that we killed her, taking her to the nursing home, but he didn't.
I think that his schizophrenia worsened. He is sure that he sold his house for a fortune for the president's son and someone (sometime, I) must give him the money.
Today at 5:30H AM he woke up my brother saying that someone was calling him (or my brother).
He must take a medicine, but he is quite sure that it will bring him a lot of problems, so he doesn't want to take any medicine.
I teach in a university. I have always thought that the number of "nuts" there is very high; and that my father with his low schooling was much more sane, with much more good sense than a lot of professors that seek their own glory. But today, I see my father as a crazy man who needs help.
Let Jesus take care of him.

the life worth living

Mommy's death was very painful to me. I stayed a week at home asking myself: what is the life worth living?
Should I abandon my job and pursue something greater?
I will stay at my job, and in fact, perhaps my life will not change very much; but, I have to learn to live to a greater mission than pleasing myself. Some mission beyond searching for my own well being.
I have a strong tendency of living as the barn man in Luke 12.

16 And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. 17 He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

18 “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. 19 And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

21 “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”

So, I have to be rich toward God. I have to live to please the Lord and not myself.
And then, I could ask: what pleases the Lord?
Some people would say: pray a lot, read the Bible, help the poor, be merciful, etc. However, I am very sure, that this is not the answer because I would, everyday, ask myself: "Sir, I am not sure if you are pleased with me today. What else should I do? " .
The answer must be Jesus: I can't please the Lord by myself, but the Son in me, can. May I rest in Jesus, not in money, not in fame, not seeking my own glory and even not being religious.
I know I have to be kinder with others. I am quite sure that a lot of unbelievers are kinder than me. At least I have to ask for the Lord to help me being more merciful, more humble, more forgiving.
Life is very short to make others respect me: I must surrender to Jesus and make others do the same.

Mommy died

Mommy passed away on September.
She was with Alzheimer phase 3.
She got pneumonia on June and was hospitalized. In order to avoid more infections, she left the hospital with a food probe linking her nose to her stomach. My sister decided to take her to a rest home. She died on September 8th.
She had to trust in Jesus in order to deal with a neighbor. We had two witches living besides.
In fact, my father bought that house in late 70s from a lady whose father had died at that house. She was, somehow, convinced that her father fell from the roof due to the witches.
At first they seemed friendly. My mother was shy and the last thing she wanted was to confront people.
But they began to do what witches do: curse, yell, and even throw toilet paper (full of shit) at us. She was very afraid to go to the backyard where she would be cursed. She was oppressed by a strong daemon. She needed Jesus help. She was not attending any church, but she called a christian friend who lead her to trust more and more in Jesus to the point of winning this battle.
She was a depressed person, but after this, she was glad for their neighbors because they lead her to Jesus.
She was like Job that cared about his children: praying that they keep their faith in Jesus.
In 2012 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer. Unfortunately, she stopped reading the Bible and praying. In her last days, she was at a wheelchair.
She was buried on Sunday. Many brothers and sisters attended her funeral.
As the pastor said: it seems that death won. He told that in many funerals, people don't talk about death because it so horrendous that even looking to death, we pretend that it is not there.
However, Christians can face death and believe in a miracle: my mother will be cured of Alzheimer and see Jesus face to face.

wife

My wife is generally unrespectful to me. She easily yells for nothing. She claims she only yells to defend herself.
This morning, I was at the toilet listening to youtube. She must said something but I didn't hear anything. She became very very angry and accused me of playing deaf to not hear what she was asking. She wanted me to carry some water. After a lot of screaming, I went to carry the water, but she didn't follow me and I decided to make all the cleaning of the backyard.
She, as her father, thinks of herself as a great worker and she looks to me as a very lazy guy. I really think that she has no respect to me.
The Lord says that the husband must lead his wife and his family; but it is a very difficult task to me.  I must pray about this situation. It affects how our children understand what is a family.
She spends a lot of money in things that I would never spend. I am the controlled guy, I mean in any aspect, finance included; but she is some how uncontrolled. In fact, she can't save much.
In her craziness, many times, she has said she was leaving home.
I told her many times, that the family should be very stable as it is an alliance relationship; but as Proverbs says - the crazy woman destroys her house. I hope my wife is not so  crazy to this point.
There was a just man, Job, who had a crazy wife. So, it must not be a great sin to have a crazy wife.
Anyway, what can I do to have a better marriage?

• pray for the wife (best way to avoid some grudge.
• pray together. We pray as family before sleeping.
• improve communication - it is very difficult. Try to understand what she is doing. It is somehow more difficult nowadays with internet.
• I have read christian books about family, but she didn't. How to make her read? Should I read to her?
• I must be a leader and make her listen to me (what is difficult). She is used to think that she is the one who makes things; and I only live in a moon, thinking. For instance, should I control her finance? As she works, she wants to spend her money as she thinks appropriate.

If I were a rich man

You must know the music "If I were a rich man" from the movie "The Fiddler on the roof". I wouldn't have to work hard and my wife would have the house of her dreams, full of employees.
I saw a video in Youtube of a rich guy that decided to spend his last decades (I think that he is still in his 60s) of his life cruising around the world. Is he really rich? Is this the kind of life I dream for? Certainly not. The great problem of travelling around the world is a life wasted. It is like going everywhere and reaching nowhere. For me, it is sad.
So, how would I make different?
Nowadays I see myself as a satisfied man because I am quite satisfied with everything the Lord has provided me: job, house and family.
If I were rich, perhaps, I would continue my life as it is; but certainly I would not go to the work anymore because, I think that it would more productive to stay with my family, helping my children in their education, for instance. So, If I were rich, and have some idea of what I want from life, I would have much more resource to accomplish it.
A good question is: what do I want from life?
I don't want great things to myself as David wrote in psalm. I learned to be content with little. I have been in fancy hotels in the beginning of this year, but I really don't need them. I have been eating in very good restaurants, but I am grateful with my everyday bread. So, what would I do supposing I have means to accomplish it?
I know that what will remain from my life is basically, what I have done to the Lord. Despite money, I know I have to take care of my family; and this is a duty from the Lord. Sincerely, I am quite sure that there is no great benefit of being rich in order to serve the Lord better. By opposite, a poor guy may serve the Lord much better than the rich because he depends on Him.
The great benefit of richness is financial freedom and consequently, liberty to avoid any job that is nonsense or unpleasant. It would provide me resource to spend my time on what I consider more important, even though not necessarily more financially rewarding.
I think that the Lord has provided me some communication skills and some analytical reasoning. So, I would like to use them before dying or before getting Alzheimer. In fact, nowadays, it is much easier to expose ideas than ever before in history. I would like to have a theme and communicate it very effectively using any media. I would like to write about relationship with the Lord mixed with finance. How would I serve others with these ideas?

Peace

Yesterday I had a fight with my sister.
We contracted a lawyer to a very simple task: put me in charge of all responsibilities of my mother with Alzheimer, inclusive, financial responsibilities. Unfortunately, she is very irresponsible. I had to generate documents based on the financial information that I provided to the lawyer because she seemed incompetent or lazy to read it. It made furious because I was paying to someone just because, by law, I need to contract a lawyer. After that, she lost a deadline and she was blaming me. It made me more furious. The lawyer was a colleague of my sister in some church; so she was supposed to be a responsible christian. I told the lawyer that she should be responsible in following up a process, taking care of deadlines. I also told her that as we were exchanging emails, everything was registered; so for me, it was very easy to prove that it was her fault. She became very angry and replied that from that moment on, all communication would be in her office, personally.   I replied by email questioning her conduct, as she was paid to a very simple task. Would she accomplish it? She didn' t answer.
Yesterday, my sister was very angry with me  because, in her opinion, I was very rude with the lawyer. She contacted other lawyer that made some suggestions to her what implied in some burden to me; but she wasn' t clear, open to me about what she was doing, she was just demanding more things. As she reaveald what was happening, I became very upset with my sister; so we had a fight. However, I tried to make my sister understand that, despite the arguing, the Lord has been providing everything and the most important thing was to show love to my mother. I think that I failed in my communication because she left the house without any word.
In this week, we, my family, watched some tapes from the beginning of our marriage when our children were babies. I was the one who recorded most ot the films, interacting with our babies.
Even though I was not talking about the Lord, I could see, clearly, that the Lord was with me, even though I had Arminian views at that moment. I am more and more convinced that the Lord has been guiding my life. This knowledge brings me peace; and yesterday, despite all problems with my sister, I am certain that the Lord has been with me, sustaining me.

Work and Sunday

I am taking Sunday as a sacred day, spared to the Lord.
I would really like to study companies, real estate, trends, etc. i.e, money related things; but Sunday must be a different day.
However, the Bible itself talks a lot about money; so on Sunday, I think it is possible to think about money but asking questions such as:
- Am I being greed, trusting on money as some provider to me?
- The Lord set me free from slavery; am I living as a free man?
- I would like very much to have a company where my children work with me. Is it only a dream? I don't have any idea what to do... but would the Lord help me in such enterprise?

The Lord wants that his children work in order to eat.
The first job assigned to man was gardening.
Gardening is very interesting: it is necessary to choose a proper location to the plant, to fight against fungos, insects, birds; etc. It is necessary to participate in God's creation.
I would like to make a familiar enterprise related to some aspect of creation.
Some ideas:
- have a vineyard in Portugal.
- create lambs in Uruguay.
but these ideas are very distant from what I am used to; so let me think some closer ideas:
- English school - Do I know English to myself? Not the greatest idea...
- security - some company that deals with security; cameras installation, image processing, etc.
-

our church is diminishing

Our nikkei church is diminishing. Yesterday one family left it.
I wrote an email to the man. I wrote about communion that we should have, but we haven't. Perhaps, it was my fault and in case of resentments, I asked for pardon. I didn't receive any reply.
In any case, what makes a christian in the Rock is the faith that Jesus cares for him, forgives his sins by his own blood, and lifts him up when sins. So, despite any problem, I have to believe that the Lord keeps my faith. 
Around December 2018, Peter and Helen left our church. Peter communicated his decision to our senior pastor's wife but he didn't tell anything directly to him. After decades in our church (in fact, I came much after the couple), they left without saying anything in public. The senior pastor was very disappointed. They didn't talk anything to me or my family. I myself decided not to search for them.
So, what is a church?
Our little church put some emphasis on sunday lunches and commemorative dates. All these feasts put some burden in a few people. After so much communion, people leave the church and in my opinion, all this "communion" is suddenly lost.

For me, the church must focus on the word. I would like to see a church where its attendants enjoy reading the Bible.
Thinking about the word of the Lord, I am preaching there once a month and I wonder if it makes any difference.
Today I read Jeremiah, chapter 11, as I read the Bible one chapter per day (to myself).
Jeremiah preached the Word, but instead of listening carefully to him, they warned him to stop preaching otherwise he would be killed.
The great question is: "Am I preaching according to God's will?" and not: "Do people enjoy my sermons?".

Unfortunately, our nikkei church resembles much more a club. It works on closed doors. It is very rare any new soul visiting our church.
Jeremiah was unpopular because he preached that the Lord would not save his people from its destruction. Jerusalem would be taken by the Babylonians.

I suppose that our church will end very soon.
I pray that the Lord guide my family as I see my family as the main church to lead.
A thought came to my mind: I have to trust in the Lord despite the church is becoming empty.