God is writing this day

Today is very cold. Now it is 10 Celsius but it feels as 8 C. 

We have a lot of traffic jams here, so I decided to go by bicycle everyday to the work.

I teach computer stuff in a university 9 Km far home. It is normally very fun to save gas, car's insurance and even a gym when riding a bicycle, but in a cold day such as today, it is terrible; at least in the very first few minutes.

I must confess a sin: I do not work very much.

Now I have classes on Tuesday for 1:40H, Thursday all day long and Friday for 1:40H. Not so much. As a professor I am supposed to be researching and publishing papers. That is what I try to do. Today, for instance, I tried to create a classifier using logistic regression. Unfortunately I am not publishing for many years.

Perhaps I try to work hard, but I am not showing results.

Well, around 17:00 I left the work, got back home, took a shower and had a dinner with my 3 kids while my wife is still working. She arrives later between 20:30H and 21:00H.

After dinner, I have to wash the dishes because my wife is always complaining that I do not do anything to help our family; so she created this job to me. I can not complain as she takes the children to school everyday, takes care of the supermarket and usual purchases, and many other things. As I said to her when she was sleeping in the morning: wake up because our home is dead and must come back to life; as in the resurrection of Lazarus.

Now after my usual chores, finally I am resting at the bed writing this blog.

It is strange to think that I am writing what God wrote before I was born. God knew how was my day today. God knows my difficulties in writing papers, how stagnated I am in my job, and even the temperature now. 

Do you remember Star Trek and Spok saying: "live long and prosper"? 

Leonard Nimoy (the author) was Jude and took it from some rabbi. Today I read Deuteronomy 30 which says similar things if the redeemed obeys the Lord.

Publishing papers is not the main reason to live but I believe that as long as the Lord keeps me in university, He wants me to perform what my boss expects me to do: publish papers. I believe that I should be like Joseph in the prison. Well, I told you: as long as you know me you will not think that I am light in the world. But somehow I believe that the Lord sustains me now.

Some years ago, the thought of lacking papers was a  burden to me. I was always complaining and assigning the responsibility of my failures to the system, the school, etc. It just made me paralyze - no research and no papers. Today, it is not a big shame to me. Did God really wrote my failures before? He knows everything inclusive how to make me publish papers.  As a redeemed, the best I can do is to rest in the Lord and eat the bread that was given me today. I mean, do what I have to do today. I really can not control many things, but for today I could at least study a little of logistic regression. You see... perhaps not a great thing to my boss, but at least I am not paralyzed blaming the world. Perhaps it is indeed a great thing to the Boss.