Who am I?

I sadly remember when I was 20 to 30 years old and I asked myself:
- Is there someone who is really my friend?
- Why do people seems to avoid me?
- Do I have some problem that others see and I do not?
Thanks Jesus, I do not even stop now to ask such things. When I was younger I certainly did not know who I was and it bothered me a lot. Perhaps the great problem I was facing was loneliness.




We read in psalm 139:

1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely

Does David ask who is he? No, and it is not the right question. David can rest in the Lord because He knows him. Thanks the Lord that today I am more aligned to this thought.
Well, things are better to me now - I have a spouse, children and friends, but now I hate when I catch myself thinking  whether I left a good impression on my students. Is it so important? A good teacher is the one who teaches, not the one who seeks to be loved.
Today I really abhor such egoistic thoughts.
So, I prefer to think as David: You Lord knows me much better than I know me. This brings rest to my heart. Certainly, our dear Lord is taking care of me.