Psalm90 - treat me better!

 I was bullied when teenager. I suffered physical violence but the worst was the loneliness. I couldn't have a friend because everyone who approached friendly to me would be bullied too. 

I grew up lonely, with no friends. Even now, I don't have friends. I have a family but I don't like parties. It is difficult to me to socialize.

I grew up in church, but I didn't get a church support in my loneliness. I can´t say I had real friends in church. 

In Psalm 90:

1 God, it seems you’ve been our home forever;

but despite that:

7-9 Your anger is far and away too much for us;

    we’re at the end of our rope.

You keep track of all our sins; every misdeed

    since we were children is entered in your books.

All we can remember is that frown on your face.

    Is that all we’re ever going to get?

I didn't enjoy parties (even nowadays if I go to party, I can't enjoy). Most of time I was chasing something: to study and go to college, to find a good job, to keep the job, to take care of the health of my children, etc. As in Psalm90: Is that all I am ever going to get? 

10 We live for seventy years or so

    (with luck we might make it to eighty),

And what do we have to show for it? Trouble.

I am 60 years old now. I would like to enjoy life now.

12 Oh! Teach us to live well!

    Teach us to live wisely and well!

15 Make us rejoice for as many days as you have made us suffer,

    for as many years as we have experienced evil.

That is my pray: Teach me to live wisely and well at 60 years old! Treat me with kindness. Make me rejoice for as many days as I was lonely, sad and lost.

The psalm finishes with:

17 let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,

    confirming the work that we do.

    Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!

Let the loveliness of my Lord rest on me. Let my life please my Lord.