Where I am heading to

 Life is very short. Today, August, 16th, is Sunday.

I must be thankful to the Lord for the good life I am already living. Today, I am physically fine, no financial problem, no big social problems, etc. If absence of problems means happiness, then I am happy. In fact, there are some minor problems: I am not publishing any paper for decades, my wife gets angry with me from time to time, I wish to have a better relationship with my daughter, I would like to become a entrepreneur, etc. Some years ago, I was intimidated by these same problems, and now, they seem so small. Some years ago, I was ashamed of not publishing papers, and now, it seems a small detail in the universe! Do the universe really need my papers? Certainly not. Do planet Earth need a successful company from me? Nope.

A big question is: "where am I heading to?"

I am heading ultimately to the cemetery whereas planet Earth will continue its path without my opinion, my ideas, etc. I am heading to the judgement before the Lord where I will be asked about my relationship with the Lord, how I have been living to Him instead of living to me. A lot of big problems I formerly had was due to search of my honor and glory such as having a successful company. Now that I am more centered in honoring the Lord than myself (I hope it is true indeed), these big problems became very small.

I hope to retire in 3 to 8 years. I have been thinking on being a great entrepreneur, specially in my retirement, but now, is it what I want indeed? What kind of thing would I do?

I have been wondering about the church. I would like to have more relationship with other Christians, to spread the word of the Lord, to help others grow in their faith. I'm quite sure that these things would be more gratifying to my life than thinking about a company and money related things. 

I should be more helpful to others, to cooperate more, with much less ego involved. Till now, I know that I have been living a very egoistic life and cooperating only when I see some advantage. Let the Lord change my heart.