Last Sunday, the Yamashita family didn't attend the church. Yamashita Okusan (the wife) sees everyone in church as a hypocrite, so she had not being attending the church for the last 10 Sundays. Her husband went alone with his children. Last Sunday, he gave up (let us say) and went to another church suitable to his wife's wish.
I told him that he is not wrong: our little church is not the only church and I think that, it's not a great sin to move to another church; mainly for saving the marriage. If she wanted to go to a "macumba center (witchcraft) ", it would be a very different situation.
I talked to our new pastor yesterday, he thinks different. Yamashita san should stand firm, even risking his marriage, because it will not solve his wife problems (he was not very specific about her problem) and leaving the church turns into a bad testimony to his children.
Yamashita san (the husband) has a small business and decided to help one unemployed member (Kang); so they opened a new small business in another place. This new small business turned belly up, they fought, Yamashita Okusan was very displeased with all this situation and, although Kang's family had already left our small church, she couldn't go there anymore due to an employee (now unemployed) who is still in our church.
We, my family, went to the church today. The sensei (senior pastor) was very worried about our position as my children are lonely without the Yamashita's children companion.
Sunday, October 6, 2019
Sunday, September 22, 2019
father as a widower
Father were used to talk to mommy even when she could not talk anything due to Alzheimer. He couldn't see her as a sick person. When she began to deteriorate, he blamed us to take her to the doctor, and have become ill due to the treatment.
She died in a nursing home. They attached her to a wheelchair to prevent that she would walk, fall and break a bone. My father was upset. He blamed the nursing home of blocking mommy and turning her much more dependent of the facilities, so that she couldn't return home.
He tried many times to go there and "save" her from that place, but, I think, that he was aware that he would have to take properly care of her: feeding, changing diapers, cleaning, etc., so he gave up the idea.
When mother died, I thought dad would blame us that we killed her, taking her to the nursing home, but he didn't.
I think that his schizophrenia worsened. He is sure that he sold his house for a fortune for the president's son and someone (sometime, I) must give him the money.
Today at 5:30H AM he woke up my brother saying that someone was calling him (or my brother).
He must take a medicine, but he is quite sure that it will bring him a lot of problems, so he doesn't want to take any medicine.
I teach in a university. I have always thought that the number of "nuts" there is very high; and that my father with his low schooling was much more sane, with much more good sense than a lot of professors that seek their own glory. But today, I see my father as a crazy man who needs help.
Let Jesus take care of him.
She died in a nursing home. They attached her to a wheelchair to prevent that she would walk, fall and break a bone. My father was upset. He blamed the nursing home of blocking mommy and turning her much more dependent of the facilities, so that she couldn't return home.
He tried many times to go there and "save" her from that place, but, I think, that he was aware that he would have to take properly care of her: feeding, changing diapers, cleaning, etc., so he gave up the idea.
When mother died, I thought dad would blame us that we killed her, taking her to the nursing home, but he didn't.
I think that his schizophrenia worsened. He is sure that he sold his house for a fortune for the president's son and someone (sometime, I) must give him the money.
Today at 5:30H AM he woke up my brother saying that someone was calling him (or my brother).
He must take a medicine, but he is quite sure that it will bring him a lot of problems, so he doesn't want to take any medicine.
I teach in a university. I have always thought that the number of "nuts" there is very high; and that my father with his low schooling was much more sane, with much more good sense than a lot of professors that seek their own glory. But today, I see my father as a crazy man who needs help.
Let Jesus take care of him.
the life worth living
Mommy's death was very painful to me. I stayed a week at home asking myself: what is the life worth living?
Should I abandon my job and pursue something greater?
I will stay at my job, and in fact, perhaps my life will not change very much; but, I have to learn to live to a greater mission than pleasing myself. Some mission beyond searching for my own well being.
I have a strong tendency of living as the barn man in Luke 12.
And then, I could ask: what pleases the Lord?
Some people would say: pray a lot, read the Bible, help the poor, be merciful, etc. However, I am very sure, that this is not the answer because I would, everyday, ask myself: "Sir, I am not sure if you are pleased with me today. What else should I do? " .
The answer must be Jesus: I can't please the Lord by myself, but the Son in me, can. May I rest in Jesus, not in money, not in fame, not seeking my own glory and even not being religious.
I know I have to be kinder with others. I am quite sure that a lot of unbelievers are kinder than me. At least I have to ask for the Lord to help me being more merciful, more humble, more forgiving.
Life is very short to make others respect me: I must surrender to Jesus and make others do the same.
Should I abandon my job and pursue something greater?
I will stay at my job, and in fact, perhaps my life will not change very much; but, I have to learn to live to a greater mission than pleasing myself. Some mission beyond searching for my own well being.
I have a strong tendency of living as the barn man in Luke 12.
16 And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. 17 He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’
18 “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. 19 And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’
20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’
21 “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”
So, I have to be rich toward God. I have to live to please the Lord and not myself.And then, I could ask: what pleases the Lord?
Some people would say: pray a lot, read the Bible, help the poor, be merciful, etc. However, I am very sure, that this is not the answer because I would, everyday, ask myself: "Sir, I am not sure if you are pleased with me today. What else should I do? " .
The answer must be Jesus: I can't please the Lord by myself, but the Son in me, can. May I rest in Jesus, not in money, not in fame, not seeking my own glory and even not being religious.
I know I have to be kinder with others. I am quite sure that a lot of unbelievers are kinder than me. At least I have to ask for the Lord to help me being more merciful, more humble, more forgiving.
Life is very short to make others respect me: I must surrender to Jesus and make others do the same.
Mommy died
Mommy passed away on September.
She was with Alzheimer phase 3.
She got pneumonia on June and was hospitalized. In order to avoid more infections, she left the hospital with a food probe linking her nose to her stomach. My sister decided to take her to a rest home. She died on September 8th.
She had to trust in Jesus in order to deal with a neighbor. We had two witches living besides.
In fact, my father bought that house in late 70s from a lady whose father had died at that house. She was, somehow, convinced that her father fell from the roof due to the witches.
At first they seemed friendly. My mother was shy and the last thing she wanted was to confront people.
But they began to do what witches do: curse, yell, and even throw toilet paper (full of shit) at us. She was very afraid to go to the backyard where she would be cursed. She was oppressed by a strong daemon. She needed Jesus help. She was not attending any church, but she called a christian friend who lead her to trust more and more in Jesus to the point of winning this battle.
She was a depressed person, but after this, she was glad for their neighbors because they lead her to Jesus.
She was like Job that cared about his children: praying that they keep their faith in Jesus.
In 2012 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer. Unfortunately, she stopped reading the Bible and praying. In her last days, she was at a wheelchair.
She was buried on Sunday. Many brothers and sisters attended her funeral.
As the pastor said: it seems that death won. He told that in many funerals, people don't talk about death because it so horrendous that even looking to death, we pretend that it is not there.
However, Christians can face death and believe in a miracle: my mother will be cured of Alzheimer and see Jesus face to face.
She was with Alzheimer phase 3.
She got pneumonia on June and was hospitalized. In order to avoid more infections, she left the hospital with a food probe linking her nose to her stomach. My sister decided to take her to a rest home. She died on September 8th.
She had to trust in Jesus in order to deal with a neighbor. We had two witches living besides.
In fact, my father bought that house in late 70s from a lady whose father had died at that house. She was, somehow, convinced that her father fell from the roof due to the witches.
At first they seemed friendly. My mother was shy and the last thing she wanted was to confront people.
But they began to do what witches do: curse, yell, and even throw toilet paper (full of shit) at us. She was very afraid to go to the backyard where she would be cursed. She was oppressed by a strong daemon. She needed Jesus help. She was not attending any church, but she called a christian friend who lead her to trust more and more in Jesus to the point of winning this battle.
She was a depressed person, but after this, she was glad for their neighbors because they lead her to Jesus.
She was like Job that cared about his children: praying that they keep their faith in Jesus.
In 2012 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer. Unfortunately, she stopped reading the Bible and praying. In her last days, she was at a wheelchair.
She was buried on Sunday. Many brothers and sisters attended her funeral.
As the pastor said: it seems that death won. He told that in many funerals, people don't talk about death because it so horrendous that even looking to death, we pretend that it is not there.
However, Christians can face death and believe in a miracle: my mother will be cured of Alzheimer and see Jesus face to face.
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
wife
My wife is generally unrespectful to me. She easily yells for nothing. She claims she only yells to defend herself.
This morning, I was at the toilet listening to youtube. She must said something but I didn't hear anything. She became very very angry and accused me of playing deaf to not hear what she was asking. She wanted me to carry some water. After a lot of screaming, I went to carry the water, but she didn't follow me and I decided to make all the cleaning of the backyard.
She, as her father, thinks of herself as a great worker and she looks to me as a very lazy guy. I really think that she has no respect to me.
The Lord says that the husband must lead his wife and his family; but it is a very difficult task to me. I must pray about this situation. It affects how our children understand what is a family.
She spends a lot of money in things that I would never spend. I am the controlled guy, I mean in any aspect, finance included; but she is some how uncontrolled. In fact, she can't save much.
In her craziness, many times, she has said she was leaving home.
I told her many times, that the family should be very stable as it is an alliance relationship; but as Proverbs says - the crazy woman destroys her house. I hope my wife is not so crazy to this point.
There was a just man, Job, who had a crazy wife. So, it must not be a great sin to have a crazy wife.
Anyway, what can I do to have a better marriage?
This morning, I was at the toilet listening to youtube. She must said something but I didn't hear anything. She became very very angry and accused me of playing deaf to not hear what she was asking. She wanted me to carry some water. After a lot of screaming, I went to carry the water, but she didn't follow me and I decided to make all the cleaning of the backyard.
She, as her father, thinks of herself as a great worker and she looks to me as a very lazy guy. I really think that she has no respect to me.
The Lord says that the husband must lead his wife and his family; but it is a very difficult task to me. I must pray about this situation. It affects how our children understand what is a family.
She spends a lot of money in things that I would never spend. I am the controlled guy, I mean in any aspect, finance included; but she is some how uncontrolled. In fact, she can't save much.
In her craziness, many times, she has said she was leaving home.
I told her many times, that the family should be very stable as it is an alliance relationship; but as Proverbs says - the crazy woman destroys her house. I hope my wife is not so crazy to this point.
There was a just man, Job, who had a crazy wife. So, it must not be a great sin to have a crazy wife.
Anyway, what can I do to have a better marriage?
- pray for the wife (best way to avoid some grudge.
- pray together. We pray as family before sleeping.
- improve communication - it is very difficult. Try to understand what she is doing. It is somehow more difficult nowadays with internet.
- I have read christian books about family, but she didn't. How to make her read? Should I read to her?
- I must be a leader and make her listen to me (what is difficult). She is used to think that she is the one who makes things; and I only live in a moon, thinking. For instance, should I control her finance? As she works, she wants to spend her money as she thinks appropriate.
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
If I were a rich man
You must know the music "If I were a rich man" from the movie "The Fiddler on the roof". I wouldn't have to work hard and my wife would have the house of her dreams, full of employees.
I saw a video in Youtube of a rich guy that decided to spend his last decades (I think that he is still in his 60s) of his life cruising around the world. Is he really rich? Is this the kind of life I dream for? Certainly not. The great problem of travelling around the world is a life wasted. It is like going everywhere and reaching nowhere. For me, it is sad.
So, how would I make different?
Nowadays I see myself as a satisfied man because I am quite satisfied with everything the Lord has provided me: job, house and family.
If I were rich, perhaps, I would continue my life as it is; but certainly I would not go to the work anymore because, I think that it would more productive to stay with my family, helping my children in their education, for instance. So, If I were rich, and have some idea of what I want from life, I would have much more resource to accomplish it.
A good question is: what do I want from life?
I don't want great things to myself as David wrote in psalm. I learned to be content with little. I have been in fancy hotels in the beginning of this year, but I really don't need them. I have been eating in very good restaurants, but I am grateful with my everyday bread. So, what would I do supposing I have means to accomplish it?
I know that what will remain from my life is basically, what I have done to the Lord. Despite money, I know I have to take care of my family; and this is a duty from the Lord. Sincerely, I am quite sure that there is no great benefit of being rich in order to serve the Lord better. By opposite, a poor guy may serve the Lord much better than the rich because he depends on Him.
The great benefit of richness is financial freedom and consequently, liberty to avoid any job that is nonsense or unpleasant. It would provide me resource to spend my time on what I consider more important, even though not necessarily more financially rewarding.
I think that the Lord has provided me some communication skills and some analytical reasoning. So, I would like to use them before dying or before getting Alzheimer. In fact, nowadays, it is much easier to expose ideas than ever before in history. I would like to have a theme and communicate it very effectively using any media. I would like to write about relationship with the Lord mixed with finance. How would I serve others with these ideas?
I saw a video in Youtube of a rich guy that decided to spend his last decades (I think that he is still in his 60s) of his life cruising around the world. Is he really rich? Is this the kind of life I dream for? Certainly not. The great problem of travelling around the world is a life wasted. It is like going everywhere and reaching nowhere. For me, it is sad.
So, how would I make different?
Nowadays I see myself as a satisfied man because I am quite satisfied with everything the Lord has provided me: job, house and family.
If I were rich, perhaps, I would continue my life as it is; but certainly I would not go to the work anymore because, I think that it would more productive to stay with my family, helping my children in their education, for instance. So, If I were rich, and have some idea of what I want from life, I would have much more resource to accomplish it.
A good question is: what do I want from life?
I don't want great things to myself as David wrote in psalm. I learned to be content with little. I have been in fancy hotels in the beginning of this year, but I really don't need them. I have been eating in very good restaurants, but I am grateful with my everyday bread. So, what would I do supposing I have means to accomplish it?
I know that what will remain from my life is basically, what I have done to the Lord. Despite money, I know I have to take care of my family; and this is a duty from the Lord. Sincerely, I am quite sure that there is no great benefit of being rich in order to serve the Lord better. By opposite, a poor guy may serve the Lord much better than the rich because he depends on Him.
The great benefit of richness is financial freedom and consequently, liberty to avoid any job that is nonsense or unpleasant. It would provide me resource to spend my time on what I consider more important, even though not necessarily more financially rewarding.
I think that the Lord has provided me some communication skills and some analytical reasoning. So, I would like to use them before dying or before getting Alzheimer. In fact, nowadays, it is much easier to expose ideas than ever before in history. I would like to have a theme and communicate it very effectively using any media. I would like to write about relationship with the Lord mixed with finance. How would I serve others with these ideas?
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Peace
Yesterday I had a fight with my sister.
We contracted a lawyer to a very simple task: put me in charge of all responsibilities of my mother with Alzheimer, inclusive, financial responsibilities. Unfortunately, she is very irresponsible. I had to generate documents based on the financial information that I provided to the lawyer because she seemed incompetent or lazy to read it. It made furious because I was paying to someone just because, by law, I need to contract a lawyer. After that, she lost a deadline and she was blaming me. It made me more furious. The lawyer was a colleague of my sister in some church; so she was supposed to be a responsible christian. I told the lawyer that she should be responsible in following up a process, taking care of deadlines. I also told her that as we were exchanging emails, everything was registered; so for me, it was very easy to prove that it was her fault. She became very angry and replied that from that moment on, all communication would be in her office, personally. I replied by email questioning her conduct, as she was paid to a very simple task. Would she accomplish it? She didn' t answer.
Yesterday, my sister was very angry with me because, in her opinion, I was very rude with the lawyer. She contacted other lawyer that made some suggestions to her what implied in some burden to me; but she wasn' t clear, open to me about what she was doing, she was just demanding more things. As she reaveald what was happening, I became very upset with my sister; so we had a fight. However, I tried to make my sister understand that, despite the arguing, the Lord has been providing everything and the most important thing was to show love to my mother. I think that I failed in my communication because she left the house without any word.
In this week, we, my family, watched some tapes from the beginning of our marriage when our children were babies. I was the one who recorded most ot the films, interacting with our babies.
Even though I was not talking about the Lord, I could see, clearly, that the Lord was with me, even though I had Arminian views at that moment. I am more and more convinced that the Lord has been guiding my life. This knowledge brings me peace; and yesterday, despite all problems with my sister, I am certain that the Lord has been with me, sustaining me.
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